Darling Dear, Get a Grip
by intricate.bella
Summary: Sequal to: Boys don't Cry. Marissa is now extremely successful, but despite her lifestyle, she can't ever forget her first love: Ryan.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One

Marissa walked carelessly down the streets of New York, her designer bag clenched in her palm, and her briefcase in another. If someone had told her that she'd be working as a model a while ago, she would have laughed and waved them away. It was at times like these, when Marissa was heading to a big photo shoot, that she started to enjoy life in the Big Apple- it was times like these, where Marissa Cooper was glad that her mother had moved their family from the heart of Newport. A glimpse of her depression flashed through her mind- the first couple of months, and even years were stained with a dark shadow in her memory. As much as she wanted to forget everything she left behind, every once in a while, she couldn't help but think of her home, her friends, _Ryan Atwood. _She quickly shook her head, so that she could smother the thought of him at the site- besides, she had someone now, someone with whom she finally felt happy.

She continued to saunter over to the building, the one that seemed to hover among all the rest. She sighed jovially, as she entered, "Hello, Miss Cooper," she heard chimes of people, ringing in their friendly chorus. Marissa nodded with a very professional smile,

"Good morning," she said, "Where can I meet Derek?" she asked a particularly small girl, that continued to walk with her as she went along.

"Oh, Marissa- you _know _where you can meet the Executive Manager of the Company, which is also your groom-to-be," she giggled excitedly, as she poked at the rock that settled on Marissa's finger, "My oh my, does that thing just grow by the day?" she grinned widely, heaving a giant sigh, "You're looking quite gorgeous today; are you two doing anything special? Can I plan something?" she asked, flipping open Marissa's day planner, "I can get reserve a dinner at the _A la carte, _if you please," she smiled gently, barely waiting for her reply.

"It's alright Keely," Marissa finally replied, quietly, "You know what you _can _do, though?" she waited for the girl's eager nod, "Can you cancel all my meetings today? I'm not feeling very good," she looked over at her apologetically.

Keely Roberts, her assistant, gazed at her disbelievingly, "You have a Press meet today! And you have a meeting with Vogue! You can't just _cancel,_" she said, continuing her fast-paced walk behind the lanky brunette.

"I _can _if my _fiancé, _is Derek thank you very much," Marissa said sternly, "Now don't make me do it myself, honey. You know how the Press is," she said lightly, approaching Derek's office, "Okay then, I'll see you later," she grinned lightly, speaking with a tinge of enthusiasm.

"Marissa," Keely hissed gently, "You're going to make those meetings, whether or not you like it, honey. Derek's behind is on the line too, you know." She said, before she made her way down the hall.

"I'm not going!" Marissa smiled gently, knocking on the door to his office, before walking in. She grinned deeply, "Hey baby," she said, making her way over to him. She seated herself on his lap, pulling him in for a deep kiss, "How's your day going?"

"All better _now,_" The handsome brunette smiled at her, wrapping his arms around her waist, as he looked up at her, "How about you? Do you have a busy day ahead of you?" he asked empathetically, smiling up at her.

"Just cancelled everything off my schedule," she giggled, "How about you?"

"I guess I should call Keely then, and do the same," he chuckled, "Want to do something tonight? Something _special? _Something that Keely didn't plan?"

Marissa giggled, "I'd love to- what do you have in mind?"

"Well after you're done with your photo shoot for Vogue- you can miss the press meet, you can't miss the front cover, babe- I can take you out to lunch or something? And then, I kind of have a surprise for you," he grinned wildly, which made Marissa giggle.

"Should I be afraid, Derek?" she giggled lightly, pressing her forehead against his.

"That's for you to find out, hun," he grinned, glancing at his watch, "Your shoot is starting in an hour, don't you have to get ready?" He reminded her lightly. She replied with a light groan.

"I guess you're right," she sighed, "Can I meet you here at one o'clock?"

"Mhmm," he muttered, before giving her another kiss, "Don't be late, sweetie. I want to do something, before my evening meeting," he said, kissing her forehead, "Now off you go, babe- make me proud," he grinned, as he watched her leave the office. With quick and urgent steps, she made her way towards the shoot room, where a crowd of designers, and make-up artists welcomed her. All the cameras and lights were already set up, as she sat down on the stool, with a throng of busy people working to put on her face. Marissa let out a soft cough, as powder sprung through the air. Soon, she felt hands grabbing and nipping at her hair. She sighed- _the life of a model_, she thought dryly.

Within a matter of time, after posing for a couple of hours on an empty stomach, one o'clock approached. Marissa apologized for not being able to work any further, as she left the room swiftly. At the designated time, she promptly made her way to Derek's office, "Hey honey, I'm back," she smiled, sitting down in the chair opposite of him.

He chuckled, "You look a bit tired,"

"Well thanks, that's definitely what I wanted to hear," Marissa smiled, looking over at him.

"No, no. I just meant that it kind of looks like you wouldn't be in the mood for a lunch, or something," he started suggestively.

"I'm _starving¸_ what are you talking about?"

"Well then I'm just going to say it," Derek inhaled heavily, "I'm loaded with work. Rain check on the lunch?" Marissa squinted lightly, barely understanding his statement. She pressed her lips together, looking away.

"You know what? That's fine- I wasn't _that _hungry anyway," she said quietly, as she got up to leave, "I'll leave you alone with your work, Der'. See you later," she stomped out of the room. He was doing this frequently, nowadays. She barely saw him throughout the day- he was always _busy, _always too busy for his damned fiancé. She flipped open her cell phone, "Hey, Keel? Did you cancel all my meetings?" she paused, waiting for the answer, "Good, 'cause I'm feeling _tons _better," she said, making her way down to her assistant's office. She clicked her phone off, replying immediately to Keely's questioning stare, "Don't worry, I'm all good. I guess all this 'lights, camera and action' do feed the soul, if you love it," Marissa smiled, "So, when's my interview with Vogue? I _am _having the front page, right?" she asked, flipping through a few pages on Keely's desk, before replacing them sloppily.

"Your interview is in thirty-five minutes, M'rissa. And yes, of course- you're getting the cover!" she squealed excitedly, "Every sane person in America is going to see your face, doll," she grinned.

"I've been on the cover, before," Marissa said uninterestedly, as she rolled her eyes lightly, "Nothing new, Keels," she sighed heavily.

"It is for _me,_" she replied, in an awed voice, "A little while ago, you were _Miss Cooper-Roberts _to me. You better not replace me anytime soon, M'rissa, because your next assistant is going to have to call you Miss Cooper-Roberts-Derek Loray," she giggled.

"Cooper-Nichol-Roberts-Derek Loray, if you count all the men that my mother's been with," they both seemed to cackle at the comment.

"Speaking of which, your mother called this morning. She says she hasn't seen you in a while?" Keely asked, organizing various papers on the desk, "I put her on hold, hoping you would come back- I don't think she was very pleased," she bit her lip lightly.

"Hm, to be honest, I really haven't seen my mother in a while," Marissa shrugged, "Oh well. That's the city-life for you. I've got to go to my interview now- bye, hun," she smiled, walking out of the office, with her heels rapping against the tile floor. Now she had to meet Vogue in the Conference Room- Marissa figured they were going to write a feature article about her, or something. She heard the chime of her ring tone, pulling her cell phone out, "Marissa Cooper," she said lightly into the phone, "Yes, I'm on my way. I'm actually in the building, coming from another important meeting. Mhmm, yes- five minutes tops, and I'll be there. The Conference Room is on the first floor, right?" Marissa walked a tinge faster, "Okay, give me five." She hung up deftly, making her way down as quickly as her heels would take her. When she finally reached the room, she took a deep breath, before entering.

"Marissa Cooper!" a voice quickly greeted her, with an extended hand, "I'm a representative from Vogue, and we're doing a _special _on the life of Marissa Cooper. Come on, we'll sit down, and I just have a few questions that I'd _love_ to ask you," her grin seemed wide, and superficial. She sighed happily, folding her arms on her lap, "Well, Miss Cooper- rumour has it that you're a _Mrs-_to-be, can you give us the scoop?"

Marissa smiled politely, "Well," she paused lightly, evidently troubled by the situation, "If all goes well, Mrs-to-be it is," she smiled.

"And who's the lucky man?" she continued to press her.

"I'd prefer to keep my relationship on the 'down-low' for now," she looked over at her carefully, "What I _can _tell you though, is that I'm very happy with him- great man," Marissa nodded, seeing the satisfaction on the interviewer's face, as she scribbled down notes violently.

"So, Miss Cooper, I have a little question- it digs _a lot _deeper. Our readers want to know the secrets on their first love. Can you tell us how that turned out? What happened?"

_Wow­_- Marissa sighed deeply, gazing at her in a wondering manner. She felt something lodge in her throat, and she couldn't quite distinguish what. First love? Her lips curled into a gentle frown, which she soon covered up with a laugh. She couldn't help but feel troubled inside. Her first _real _love, was Ryan Atwood. She'd never been asked to remember something so painful from her past, "My first love?"

"Yeah," she smiled sympathetically, "You look a little upset there, we can go on to another question if you'd like,"

"No, no- it's fine, I'm fine," Marissa said quickly, "Well my first love," she started, wondering how to outstretch the topic into the most vague snippets of information, "That guy- wow. From the moment I saw him, honestly, I just couldn't _not _love him,"

"So it was love?"

"Oh, _definitely. _Of course I still think about him and all, but I've moved on- I really have. Ever since I moved from Newport out to New York, life's been too fast to think about old boyfriends, you know? (_Mhmm)_ It was tough at first, and I'm not afraid to admit ladies. Breaking up with my first love wasn't easy- sometimes I just wonder where he is, and what he's doing," she laughed lightly, "But I barely believe that he still remembers me," she shrugged, "So that's the gruesome tale of my first love. There you have it," Marissa smiled gently, awaiting the next question.

"What's the name of this lucky boy?"

Marissa bit her lip, "Mmm, his name was Ryan," Marissa nodded to herself, "_Okay, _next question?"

"Okay, so how did you do it? How did you get all the way to the top?"

Marissa laughed jovially, "Well, it was tough work. Honestly, I wouldn't have imagined that I would get picked out of a crowd, and told that I'm to be a model. It was luck- sheer luck."

"Can you tell our readers how they can start off?"

"Well, ladies- be persistent. If this is what you want to do, then go for it," Marissa smiled softly, "Don't give up on any of your dreams, and you should be okay,"

"Well then thank you, Marissa Cooper. It's been a great honour to be able to talk to you," the lady smiled, as she started to get up, "Stay tuned into the next issue of Vogue- you'll definitely find yourself in it."

"No,thank you- it's been a pleasure," Marissa smiled. Once the lady, along with her crew left, she let a deep, bothered sigh. She made her way back into Keely's office, "Damn those reporters are so nosy," she complained, "They asked me about my _first love- _like, what am I supposed to reply?"

"Oh God, and what did you say?" she looked over at her nervously, "Because you _know _that Derek will flip through the magazine once he sees you in it,"

"That's bull and you know it," she continued, "Derek doesn't pay any attention to me whatsoever. This afternoon was supposed to be romantic- amazing. Instead, he cancelled, and instead I had Vogue ask me about my first love. Honestly, do you really think he gives a rat's ass about me?" she questioned hoarsely.

"Of _course _he does," Keely squeaked, walking over to Marissa, ready to give her a pep talk, "Sweetie, do you _see _that ring?" she pressed her lips together finely, looking into her sharp eyes, "I definitely see it. And I think that man has the hots for you, honey,"

"_That's _the thing," Marissa frowned harder, "He has the _hots _for me, but does he love me?" she shook her head softly, "Don't even say he does," Marissa gulped softly, "I don't even think he'll last to our wedding day- anyway, I'm not in the mood to discuss my love life any further, thanks," she said coolly, "What do I have that's coming up?"

"You can grab a forty-minute lunch right now, if you want, because you have Teen People coming in about an hour. They also want to talk to you about, pish posh, you know the deal- right?" Keely said, slightly offended that Marissa didn't want to discuss the problem, "Anyway, I can get you a cab in about five minutes- yes, no?"

"No, it's alright. I need some fresh air," she smiled, "Thanks," she replied gratefully.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

Ryan snuggled into his pillow, for the last couple of minutes before he had to dart to work. Ever since that promotion, he had so much more work and responsibility fluttering on his mind. With a lazy yawn, he rolled out of bed with a single grunt, ignoring the girl that laid beside him, "Hey, where are you going?" he heard her gentle voice just before he got up, far enough to leave.

"Work," he muttered back grumpily, as he started to search for some pants and a shirt. Now that he was almost at the top of the company, he had to look like it. He was co-head of Newport's finest Construction Company. He went from worker, to co-owner, which he prided himself in everyday.

"Not even a goodbye?" she asked gently, looking up at him. She pulled the covers over her body, "I see you're in a funny mood today," she sat up quickly, as she started to leave, "Maybe it's just best if I go," she nodded to herself, as she studied the room for her clothes.

"Hayles, you know I'm not a morning person," Ryan groaned, pleading her with a warm gaze to stay.

"Yeah, recently it's all I see," she looked over at him sternly, "When we started this little _fling, _you were a twenty-four hour person. Maybe I'm just boring? Whatever. I think we need a break," she sighed, as she peeled her shirt on, following quickly with her tiny skirt, "Coming to think of it, I've been blowing off work for _you, _for the past couple of weeks," she pressed her lips together, as she fixed her hair.

"It's _different,_" Ryan muttered, "You're a waitress." He knew he shouldn't have said that. He completely expected her foul response.

"That's rightRyan, I'm _just _a slutty, little waitress that you've been bringing home every night for about a month. And you realize _now _that I'm _just _a waitress," she glared at him harshly, as she walked out of his penthouse crisply.

"I didn't mean it that way, Hayles!" Ryan tried to call after her.

"You know what you can do? Gather my stuff, I'll come by and pick it up tomorrow. Otherwise, don't bother." She said, before slamming the door behind her.

Ryan fell onto his bed again, "Fuck," he muttered to himself, scratching the back of his head. He decided to simply move on, get ready for work, and see what time would bring. In the back of his head, he knew that she would be back. After a moment's worth of preparation, he was ready for work. He walked out of his luxurious apartment, toward his car, and soon he arrived at his office.

"Hello, Mr. Atwood," his secretary said warmly.

"Hello, Kate," he replied, "Can you send some coffee to my office? It hasn't been a great morning so far," she nodded happily, as she watched him walk down the hallway, with his quick and official walk. When he saw his boss walking a little while ahead of him, he jogged over to his side, "'Morning, Rick," Ryan said politely, "What've you got for me to do today?"

"Good morning, Ryan," the man said with a grin. For some reason, this dark-haired, shady-eyed man, reminded him so much of Sandy. He could tell this man anything, "Well, you're in for a tough day. Miss Calestin called in this morning, and she wants a crew sent to her house- you know the one that I'm talking about. Do you think you could arrange something? Otherwise, heaps of paperwork and phone calls waiting to be answered. Are you up for it?" he questioned gently.

"I think so- a few coffees should do the trick," Ryan laughed lightly.

"Oh, bad morning?" he smiled understandingly, "Well, I can always send in a few interns to help you out. Good idea?"

"Nah, I'm alright," Ryan nodded.

"Ah, you over-ambitious boy you. I knew what I was doing when I promoted you," he laughed his hardy laugh, giving Ryan a slap on the back, "Well, you have yourself a good day," he said, as he disappeared down the hallway. Ryan entered his office, looking aroundits cozy entirety. He collapsed onto his leather chair, feeling at the arms of it. He sighed happily, enjoying how far he had gotten in the job. Within a matter of moments, Kate was knocking on the door politely, with a cup of coffee.

"Come in," Ryan said, as he started to finger through some papers, looking up at the door momentarily, "Thanks, Kate," he said, taking the coffee from her hand.

"Not a problem, Mr. Atwood," she said with a smile, as she watched Ryan taking his first sip, "If you need anything, just buzz," she said, as she walked out of the room. Ryan nodded, putting the cup down, as he began to revise his day's plans, and work. He flipped through some paperwork, as he scribbled down his signature messily on some sheets.

He still couldn't get his mind off of Hayley. He picked up the phone, as he started to dial her cell phone number. He heard a very annoyed Hayley pick up the phone on the other line, "I told you not to call," she muttered.

"I'm sorry, I just," Ryan paused, "Please don't hang up. I hate that you're mad at me, and I hate that I've been such an ass lately- things have been so complicated though, and I'm sorry,"

She seemed to laugh, "Complicated? Honey, you ain't seen complicated yet," she muttered before she hung up the phone crossly. Ryan quickly redialed the number, pressing the conversation further, "Can you just _stop?_ I told you not to call, and now you're calling- _twice._"

"I wouldn't have to call twice if you didn't hang up," Ryan said, with a teasing smile, "Hayles, can I take you out for lunch?"

"Nope, I'm going to work."

"You don't _work _Hayles," Ryan replied kindly, his voice almost laughing, "I'll take you out for lunch, and then we can go shopping?" he suggested lightly. He heard her groan on the other end.

"I don't want to see you!" she said, her voice filled with frustration.

"Great, pick you up at twelve," Ryan said, hanging up so that she could not back out. He smirked to himself, knowing that she would be ready for him, just then. At twelve, as he had assumed, she was waiting in front of her own apartment, with a frown on her face, her arms folded across her chest. Ryan got out of his car, to meet her up at the front door, "So, you're ready I see? Unless you have another date?"

"I really don't like you," she muttered, through a frown.

"So that's a _no _on the hello-kiss?" Ryan joked, "Come on, I'll take you to a nice restaurant, and I'll buy you a little something. Will that make it all better?"

"_No _it won't make it better," she growled, "Listen Ryan, you do this _all _the time. Every fight we have, whether it's about breakfast, or _this, _you always solve it by buying me things," she looking over at him seriously.

"It always works," Ryan said, giving her a questioning stare, "You won't talk to me otherwise,"

"Why do you think I'm so shallow?" she retorted quickly.

"Because if I don't mention shopping, you hang up on me like no tomorrow," Ryan took her hand in his, looking into her eyes, "I don't think you're shallow, Hayles. I just want you to be happy,"

"I'm not going to be happy if the only chemistry we have is store-bought," she muttered quietly.

"Hayles, I thought that's what you wanted," Ryan replied, his tone soft, "Do you want to go out to lunch, so that we could talk- please? It would mean a lot to me,"

"Sorry, Ryan," she looked up at him, "I'm sorry, but I can't keep doing this. We're so different. You some big company owner, and you're right- I'm just a waitress. You think you could buy me things to win me over, but I really want more. I know you're capable of love, 'cause I saw it when we first started off. You're just letting your job get to your head. Riches aren't everything to a girl, Ryan," she said gently, giving him a soft peck on the cheek, "You take care of yourself," she said, disappearing into the front door of her apartment. Ryan pocketed his hands, as he watched her go inside.

This time, he had no doubts that it was over. He frowned, as he trudged over to his car, driving back to work, since he had nowhere else to go.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three**

"You called?" Marissa stood in front of Derek's desk, her face slightly angered by the abrupt phone call, that sent her practically jogging to his office, in her new shoes. She couldn't help but study his peculiar smile.

"I promised you a surprise last night, did I not?" he asked, almost playfully. She rolled her eyes, and folded her arms over her chest, "And I know I kind of ticked you off yesterday, but please- believe me. I wanted it to be just as special as you did- work just always gets in the way. You know how it is?" he explained quietly, looking directly in her dark eyes.

"I'm starting to know how it is, yes," she replied, taking the seat directly in front of him, her gaze crisp and suspicious, "I didn't come here for any surprises," Marissa said firmly, "I came here to figure out just _one _thing, and if you have enough time, then I'd like you to let me know, thank you very much," she said, fingering a picture frame of her and Derek that sat so serenely on his desk. She looked at her own image- she looked genuinely happy. So what was happening now?

"I'll answer anything," he replied, "But after, if things are clear, I still want to carry out with my surprise- I'm sure you'll love it," he grinned gleefully.

"Then answer me this," she paused, swallowing hard, "Do you have _any _feelings for me?" Marissa said, wincing as she imagined all the potential replies. He looked at her, almost appalled that she would ask something so ridiculous.

"Marissa!" he said, his voice spilling from his lips in a harsh whisper.

"_Do you?_" Marissa continued, pressing her lips together.

"Yes, _yes!_ I love you- I love you more than you'll ever know," he answered, his voice continuously disbelieving, almost hurt. Marissa closed her eyes, a feeling of déja-vu overwhelming her.

"I've been told that before," she said quietly, "But you have no idea how fast people can get over the so-called, _love._" She looked away, as she started to get up from her chair. Derek grabbed her arm swiftly, giving her a pleading look, "Can I just," she exhaled, "Can I just have some time?" he nodded toward her vigorously, "I need some time to figure things out, see where I'm at," she shrugged her shoulders, "I just need some time," she whispered, her eyes welling up slowly.

He seemed to frown in her direction, "Listen, M'riss. If you're going to leave, you might as well take the surprise with you. I'm sure it'll be a great place for you to think things through," he opened his drawer, avoiding Marissa's curious stare. He pulled out some papers, and an envelope, "Here's a map, your ticket, and a key," he said simply, handing it over to her sloppily, "Have a great time at our cottage- in Newport Beach."

Marissa barely remembered what happened right then and there. She barely conceived the thought of why she was lying in the office's medical centre. She was lying on the stiff bed, looking up at the white ceiling, wondering where she was. She could hear ruffling all around her, faint conversations among a throng of people. Soon, the little crowd hovered over her, "_Good, _she's awake," she heard Keely grin as she looked down at her. She saw a shadow of Derek above her as well, his face tense and worried. She wanted so desperately to know where she was, but her lips would not utter enough words, "Marissa, how are you feeling?" Keely proceeded to ask.

Marissa opened her mouth to speak, but again, no words would escape. She felt a palm against her forehead, as she tried to think of the last thing she remembered. Dim blurs of a cottage drifted through her mind. What cottage, she would question herself quietly, as she looked over every person who was surrounding her individually, "Where… where am I?" she stammered, her lip trembling as she spoke.

Keely smiled warmly, "Oh silly," she giggled, "You should have taken a longer lunch, honey. You passed out, and now you're in our little mini-hospital in the office," she nodded reassuringly, "Miss Nurse, please! Miss Cooper's awake," she informed her coolly.

Marissa looked over at Derek, his expression almost guilty. When he noticed that her eyes were on him, he turned away abruptly, "Der'," she said quietly, her voice weak as she spoke. He looked over at her, giving her a feeble smile.

"Okay, you two need some quiet time," Keely smiled and nodded, shooing away the crowd of people, that Marissa could barely distinguish, "Call if you need anything, Marissa," Keely said, before shutting the door behind her for some privacy. Marissa and Derek simply dwelled in silence, as they sat, locked in each other's eyes.

"I'm sorry," Derek whispered.

"What are you sorry _for?_" she asked, her voice confused and quiet. A cottage? She tried to stir her mind for any memories of a cottage. And then it dawned on her, as the words echoed through her mind. _Have a great time at our cottage- in Newport Beach. Newport Beach, _she repeated in her head. Was Derek completely, and utterly insane? Newport Beach was the home of- she interrupted her thoughts before she could dig deeper.

"I don't know," he said, frustrated, "For not having any time for you, lately," he kneeled down by her side, "But I still think you should go down to our little cottage, Marissa. I bought it for _us. _And it's perfect if you want to think things through. If you need time, I'm sure the waterfront, and the beach, and Cali will completely blow your mind. And then you'll come back, and we'll be better than ever- you'll be entirely doubt-free, and then we could continue with our-"

Marissa interrupted, "What cottage?" she could barely catch up with him. She could barely understand the words that he was blurting out, in entire storylines.

He took a deep breath, "I wanted to surprise you," he frowned, "I bought us a beautiful cottage, stretched alongside the Newport coastline. It's absolutely gorgeous- I had my mother go and check it out. She said it was too perfect for words," he smiled at her lightly, grazing her cheek with the tips of his fingers affectionately, "I want you to cancel all your plans, and go and check it out, for as long as you need."

"And leave all this- leave _you?_" Marissa said quietly, gaining strength as he spoke to her.

"You said you needed time," he said, lowering his gaze, "I'm going to give you time. I trust you, and I want you to know that, and remember that. I love you, Marissa. I'm willing to give you everything you need- time, _anything. _Understand?" Marissa nodded, and Derek gave her a light kiss on the forehead.

A plump, little nurse approached them quickly, "Now, now. I know you two need your little love-talks, but your beauty needs her beauty _rest. _So, if you could please leave the medical centre, I'm sure we would all appreciate it," she said, directing her bold voice to Derek. Derek looked over at Marissa apologetically, kissing her once more, before leaving, "Now how are you feeling, dollie?" she said, pulling a curl of her stringy hair behind her ear, "You look tons better, by the way- compared to how you looked coming in, honey, you look gorgeous," she smiled, in an almost motherly way.

Marissa stifled a laugh, as she tried to get up. She felt a searing pain gnaw at her head, at the exact attempt, as she let out a harsh scowl, "Oh darlin', sick back down. You hit your head when you passed out," she said, helping Marissa back down onto the bed, "Now I know it's not the most comfortable place to be, darlin', but until the doctor comes, it will just _have _to do, okay?"

"Okay," Marissa replied quietly.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four

Ryan wandered over to a bar, entering serenely. He collapsed on one of the bar stools, ordering a drink. He wanted to better things with Hayley, but he simply did not know how. Calling her would not do any good- she would simply decide not to pick up. Seeing her in person, would likely make things worse because of his uncanny way of expressing himself. The bartender approached him with his beer, "Rough day?" he tried to seem as understanding as possible, despite the fact that he had heard the same circumstances from many other men. He even tried to seem interested, as he prepped his chin with his hand, leaning against the bar counter. Ryan nodded, clasping his ice-cold beer in between his palms, as he studied the golden liquid.

"Yeah, rough day," Ryan said with a sigh, as he swigged some of the beer. He felt the coolness oozing down his throat, feeling its icy trail down his throat.

"It's about a lady, isn't it?" the bartender questioned, making assumptions about Ryan with every gulp he took of his beer. He had definitely seen it before. He used all the same lines to give the beer-drinker a proper pep-talk, "And you're probably some huge exec at some amazing Newport company,"

Ryan looked up, looking at the man's eerie expression, "How did you know that?" Ryan asked, his chin drooping slightly in awe. The man laughed, as he shook his head.

"You've still got your name tag on, smart stuff," he smirked, softly, "But don't worry. It's nothing I haven't seen before,"

"I don't need a therapist," Ryan grunted, already annoyed with the man's arrogance.

"Hey, when I see a brother in need, I'm there," he said, seeing how quickly Ryan finished his beer, "Here, next one's on the house." And so Ryan's afternoon drifted away, and when he left the bar, he was absolutely intent on getting Hayley back. Only slightly sobre, he made his way to her apartment, letting himself in with the keys he had received from the gorgeous girl. Before he entered, he knocked loudly, causing her to scramble to the door worriedly.

"Ryan?" she said, shocked that he stood a mere foot away from her. She smelt the heavy stench of alcohol in his breath, as she made his way over to him carefully, "Oh babe, you're _wasted,_" she said, placing his arm around her shoulder as she led him over to the couch.

"No I'm not," Ryan retorted, following her with a sloppy stagger. She laughed, _Yeah, you're so sobre Ryan it makes me sick, _she thought, deciding not to fight with a drunk man.

"What'd you do to yourself, buddy?" she said affectionately, as she laid him down on the couch, "Well, you go to sleep Ryan. It'll do you good. When you wake up, you'll be up and out of my apartment," she said quietly. She couldn't say she was entirely forgetful of their earlier fight, but she couldn't stand to see Ryan like this. Either way, she silently swore to herself that she would not allow him to slither into her life once more.

"Hayles?" Ryan said, his voice a deep, almost moan. She looked over at him, running a hand through his hair. She nodded, and he continued, "I'm sorry- I, I really am." He stammered.

She smiled lightly, "Okay," she replied, giving him an understanding nod.

"No, I really mean it," he said, gulping lightly. _I wonder if that's the beer talking, _she thought to herself quietly, as she looked down at him meaningfully.

"Okay," she repeated, more convincingly this time around, "Rest- we'll talk later, okay Ryan?" Before her voice trailed off, she could hear his relaxed breathing. She saw that his eyes were closed, and that he seemed as lulled as he could possibly be. She smiled, giving him a light kiss on the cheek, before she walked off to do some work around the house. She couldn't help but realize how fond she was of this man. Even though her heart hadn't ached for him when her anger was fuming out of her, she wanted him back so badly now- now that she could endure some rational thinking. She let her thoughts drift, as she silently waited for Ryan to awake.

The hour did come- the next morning. When Hayley awoke, Ryan was already scurrying in the kitchen, a fine scent of breakfast replenishing the air. Hayley couldn't help but wake up, her taste buds craving a morning snack. She glanced in the mirror to fix her hair, before she made her way to the kitchen, "Still here?" she laughed lightly, yawning as she looked around.

"Yeah," Ryan smiled awkwardly, wondering if she was still hideously cross with him, "Speaking of which, I hope you're hungry," Ryan smiled, as he started to set platters of food on the table, all colourful and beautifully scented.

"You shouldn't have," Hayley said, biting her lip as she took in the sight of all the plates.

"No, I had to," Ryan stopped his work, as he sat down across from her, "I don't remember much from yesterday, but I do remember waking up here, so it must count for something. Even when I'm wasted, I'm thinking about you, Hayles," he laughed lightly.

She smiled, blushing carefully, "_No, _you really shouldn't have. I haven't done so many dishes in months," Hayley joked. Ryan took her hand in his, grinning lightly.

"Can you give me one more chance?"

Hayley thought for a moment, sighing lightly, "You know what Ryan?" she paused, "I don't want to go through this again. Honestly? I think I'm a better friend of yours, then a girlfriend, cause I don't know- no offense, you just never get anything right. But if you're my friend, you don't _have _to know that," she laughed casually, ignoring Ryan's hurt face, "Listen, be my friend. Don't ask for more- I can't be more with you," she shook her head gently, looking at Ryan, as she started to dig into the food, "By the way, you're an excellent cook." She smiled gratefully, as she swallowed her first gulp of food, "Ryan, can you tell me something as honestly as you can?"

"What?" Ryan replied, trying to sound as polite and understanding as he could.

"Have you ever _really _been in love?"

Ryan looked up at her abruptly, "Well, uh- er, yes. I have been,"

"Before me?" she pressed.

"A long while before you."

"Well then you don't need to explain. I was the rebound-girl. I kind of felt you weren't one-hundred percent mine," she smiled, "Really, it's okay," she replied, to his shocked expression, "At least you know what you want now, right?"

"Actually, I haven't got the slightest idea as to what I want," Ryan muttered, "You weren't just the rebound-girl. You were more to me than that,"

"Okay, if I wasn't the rebound girl, then you just emphasized my point. You care about me, but you don't love- well, you might, but as nothing more than a friend," she pressed her lips together, placing her filled fork into her mouth again, savouring the delicious breakfast.

"Hayles, why are you doing this to me? Everything was going fine-"

"_No, _it _wasn't _going fine," she hissed, her inner self finally making its way through her smile, "What is it with you guys? It _wasn't _fine, Ryan! It wasn't fine when you jetted off every morning for your new job, and left me there. It also wasn't fine when you thought it was alright to buy my love," she took a deep breath, and smiled again, "So can we just be friends, before we stop talking altogether?"

Ryan shook his head with a frown, as he set down his fork and knife on the table. He studied the table for a moment, before looking up, "I can't do that, Hayley," he nodded once, before he got to his feet, and started towards the door.

"Ryan!" Hayley called after him, stopping him right before we left, "Can we talk about this?"

"Seems like you've already made up your mind," Ryan muttered.

"Can you honestly tell me that you're in love with me?" Hayley bit her lip, giving him a brusque, harsh stare, that was extracting that lingering response. After a moment's worth of silence, she laughed once, "Exactly."


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five

After a couple of hours, Marissa left the office's hospital on her own two feet, in frantic search of her fiancé. She glanced in his own office, and around the building and yet he was no where to be found, "Keel', do you know where that man is?" she huffed in annoyance. Keely smiled one of her angelic smiles, but Marissa knew that _something _was up. She studied the girl for a moment.

"Nope, no idea whatsoever, Miss Cooper," she nodded lightly, as she continued to shuffle through her papers, with one of her silly grins.

"Keely?" Marissa simply said sternly, looking down at with her hands on her hips. She seemed to cringe under Marissa's stare, not wanting to give out, "Keely, why is that you're calling me Miss Cooper? Do I call you Miss Faveretto?" Marissa's eyes seemed to be smiling, as she tried to squeeze the information out of her.

"Just a formality," Keely smiled, "I just want to be polite." Marissa seemed to smirk at her comment.

"So do you call all your friends by their surname, because it's a _formality _or just me?" Marissa raised an eyebrow, heaving a sigh, as she leaned against her assistant's desk, "Now Keels, I don't want to have to do this, because it's really- well, hard for me. But if you're not going to tell me where my fiancé is at _this moment, _then I'm afraid you'll have to be laid off." Marissa's expression unfalteringly cold. It betrayed no emotions, as she stared at Keely's writhing self. She couldn't help but stare at her heatedly, until the news was spilt.

"Okay, _okay!" _Keely pressed her lips together, closing her eyes with a sigh, "I saw Derek with a woman," she stammered quickly, incomprehensibly.

"_What?_" Marissa asked.

"_I know,_" Keely replied, almost sobbing.

"No, _what? _I really didn't hear you." Marissa squinted her eyes questioningly as she stared at Keely, "Keels, _come on," _Keely repeated herself quietly, but this time, Marissa heard every word, "So, so where is he?" she stammered, her eyes welling up. Keely tried to comfort her, by placing a hand on her shoulder, but Marissa flinched and pulled away, "I can't believe this. _Where is he?_"

"He's in the basement office. But Marissa, he might still be down there. Don- don't go," she stuttered, but before she had finished saying it, Marissa had fled from the room, her heels clicking violently against the floor. As passers greeted her, she simply ignored them with her fleeting glare. Within a matter of moments, with her steaming walk, she scrambled to his basement office, angry that she hadn't thought of it before. She walked in, without knocking, and surely she saw Derek. He wasn't alone.

"Marissa!" Derek called, shoving the petite girl off of him, "What are you doing, lady? I'm _not _interested!" Derek called out, pushing the girl off to the floor. Marissa smirked at his act, as she tottered in, "I have no idea what this girl is doing here," he gulped, as the girl pulled on her clothes, and ran out of the room before Marissa could identify her.

"Oh, I'm impressed," she laughed, "The no-time for me, the cottage in Newport, it all makes sense," she shook her head, sighing lightly, "You know what kills me though? You were going to go on with your life, leading me to believe that you really loved me. Which is honestly kind of funny, because- what about the wedding? Were you just going to marry me, and deny ever fucking that little whore?" Marissa couldn't bottle it up inside of her any further. She had doubts about the relationship, but she never believed it was something so harsh.

"No, I- I meant to tell you," Derek said, sliding his pants on, "I really did!"

"Before or _after _you sent me to Newport?" Marissa retorted coldly.

"Before! I meant to tell you before, can you relax?" he said gently, starting to stand up.

"Don't you dare touch me," Marissa yelped coldly, when she saw him stretching out his arm toward her, "You know what, Derek? I _quit- _I quit this job, I quit this relationship, I _quit._" She said assertively, sliding the ring off her finger and throwing it at him.

"M'rissa, technically, you can't quit this job- you're on a contract," he tried to point out, as she turned around to leave.

"Technically, you can kiss my ass," Marissa said, leaving, "Oh, and _technically, _that cottage is partly mine- So I'm still going, and honey, I won't be back," she warned, slamming the door behind her. She climbed the stairs leading to the front foyer, her face wet with tears.

"Marissa, are you alright?" Keely got up immediately, after seeing the sobbing Marissa.

"Don't you touch me," she hissed, wiping the moistness from her face, "I'm leaving, leaving New York, this job, this stupid,_ stupid _job- the naivety that _someone _cares for me," she shook her head, "You can tell, whoever the hell I'm meeting today, that I just _quit _cause my fiancé's-" She groaned before she finished her sentence, after which she went walking over to her own, small office to grab her things. She stuffed them into her purse, running out of the building before Derek could catch up with her. As she staggered out, she heard Derek's voice echoing throughout the hallway. She simply ran out faster, making sure to jog down the road, until she knew she was far enough. She pulled out the ticket that he had given her, and noticed that the flight was in a few hours. She had until then, to pack some things, and dart to the airport, so that she could leave.

Her cell phone was ringing violently in her purse, and she picked it up absentmindedly. It's what she did. People called her, demanded meetings or things of that sort, and she simply picked up. Usually, her hopes were dangling high up in the air, hoping that her beloved Derek would call, but this when she heard his voice on the other line, she felt her insides cringe, "Marissa, please! Let me explain to you!" He pleaded at the other end. Marissa could hear his hollow breathing, and his short detached words. She realized that he was running after her. She slammed the cell phone shut, as she started to run toward the nearest taxi cab, seeing a blur in the crowd behind her. Marissa didn't find out who that blur was exactly, as the taxi cab flung in the other direction, like Marissa had asked of him. She sunk in the back seat of the cab, closing her eyes.

"You a'right, Miss?" he asked, shortly after she had told him her home address. She noticed a heavy accent powdering his voice, as he studied the road. She shook her head, distress nabbing at her insides. She felt her heartbeat pounding in her ears, and yet still, she could not relieve herself of the image of the woman in Derek's office. She gulped and shook her head violently, looking up at the driver, almost whispering _what? _When he realized that the frustrated girl hadn't heard him, he repeated himself, "You a'right, Miss?" he said this time, trying to squeeze in as much comfort as he could muster. Soon, their yellow taxi cab was a mere speck on the New York streets.

"Yeah, yeah, fine." Marissa replied, quickly smudging the traces of tears against her eyes. She barely heard his question, and she put little thought into her reply. How would _he _understand? A fifty-year-old, fat, taxi cab driver, how would he understand about the afflictions of a twenty-year-old miss, that just had her heart utterly broken?

"Sorray to bother you," he said after a few minutes of silence, "But I b'lieve we're being followed," the man said, looking in his rear view mirror apprehensively. Marissa cussed under her nose, gripping the edge of her seat anxiously.

"Do whatever, Sir. Just get away," she whimpered, looking back at the mirroring bright-yellow taxi cab. Surely enough, she saw Derek's finger pointing at her cab, his lips moving quickly in an almost yell.

"Whatever you say," the man said, taking a violent U-turn out of the traffic jam, "Seat belts on?" the man asked, with an almost smirk. Marissa nodded with a gulp, "I'll drop you off at a mall, Miss. There, you can eas'ly run and hide from this gent'man. I can pick you up off the east exit in about twenty minutes- d'you know your way around?" Marissa nodded again, and the man continued, "So fifteen minutes, and I'll meet you back here in my cab. We'll go to your house from there- _unless _you think it unsafe? Who was that man?"

"My fiancé," Marissa sniffled, as she studied the plan in her mind, mentally depicting a map of the nearest mall. _East Exit. _She knew her way around- she could probably get there within a matter of minutes.

"_Fiancé!" _The man questioned quickly, "Hey, if you don't want'a talk, it's a'right, Miss. This fiancé of yours is just a while back, so you best hurry up to that east exit." Marissa nodded, hopping out of the taxi cab as instructed. She bolted out towards the entrance, hearing urgent footsteps behind her. She didn't dare look back- she continued to wind through the crowds of people, trying to make her way as short, but as complicated as possible. She turned her head for a moment, and saw that she was no longer being followed. She stopped breathlessly, looking around for his tall, familiar silhouette.

"Marissa," she then heard him say, as he grasped her shoulders. She pulled away with a squeal, only to be trapped by his firm grasp once more, "Please, let me explain." Marissa pressed her lips together, glaring at the man she once thought she loved.

"_What _can you possibly explain to me?" she said firmly, pulling away. Although she wasn't ready to speak to him quite yet, she knew that it was time, "Can you explain to me how the hell your pants just fell to the floor? Mmm, guess not. And that's about all I wanted to know, thanks," she said, turning to leave, a look of disappointment evident in her eyes.

"It was an accident!" He blurted out, which made Marissa turn back around violently with a devious smirk.

"Oh, an accident, huh? Aw, were you not thinking baby? Did you think you were really fooling around with me? Wow, must have been a huge shock when you saw the real me coming through that door, huh?" Marissa laughed lightly, shaking her head.

"It's not like that Marissa," he said quietly, "Just lately things have been going so poorly-"

"And what? Lack of sex? Such a shame, isn't it? Such a shame you wouldn't even wait for the make-up sex," she smirked, "Whatever, you know? If you're just going to fuck around every time we have an argument or dispute, then it's just not worth it." Marissa nodded to herself, "Here's my plan for the day- And I swear, if you fucking follow me, you're dead," she said with a sigh, "Right now, I'm going to the east exit. I might stop at the bikini shop, to get a bikini or two for when I go to Newport Beach. After this little shopping thing, I'm going to go home, pack, and head out for the airport, after which I'm going to _my _little, perfect cottage. I'll be there for a couple of months, and I might consider coming back, only to sell the apartment, and go back- ah, hell with it, I might as well just buy a nicer place somewhere else, but don't worry; you won't know of any such things. Don't interfere with my plans baby, or you don't want to know." Marissa smiled cruelly, making her way down the hall, her heals rapping sharply against the tile floor.

"Marissa-" he said tiredly.

"No!" she turned around, pointing her index finger at him stridently, "Don't _Marissa _me," she said, realizing that heads were turning as her voice echoed through the buzzing mall, "We're through, got it?" she said firmly, knowing that this time, he would not bother to call her. And she was right. He was always so predictable- however, she couldn't quite understand why she didn't predict the cheating, the girl in the office… why hadn't she?

When she got out of the East end, her faithful taxi cab driver was waiting there, "No need to hurry, Sir. I already talked to him, and it's alright. He's not to follow me any further." Marissa said quietly, hopping into the back seat, "Now, to my apartment please."

"No problem," the man called back, turning back onto the road quietly. Marissa smiled lightly, as she heard his friendly accent once more, "Are you sure e'rything's alright with the young man?"

"Mmm, I'd like to think so," Marissa said with a sigh, "I told him how I felt- I guess I was an idiot for thinking I could just _ignore _him. He should have heard my side, and he did- so I'm happy." The man seemed to nod in agreement, "Sir, do you think you could please send someone over to my place at about quarter to Five? I'm heading to the airport, and I've still got a few things to pack- you know?"

"Oh, sure thing darling," he smiled. Within a matter of moments, the man dropped Marissa off in front of her towering apartment. She paid him, with a hefty tip, and he returned her a great grin, "Thank you, Miss," he said appreciatively, as he drove away leaving a cloud of dust behind him. As she wheezed a gentle cough, she walked into the apartment, taking the elevator up to her room. Once she entered she pressed her lips together, looking around. Just two nights before, Derek had been their with her- they were as happy as ever, so it seemed. She couldn't say, however, that she was feeling depressed. An odd feeling of satisfaction started toerupt inside of her, and she couldn't explain why.

As she threw some clothes in a Louis Vuitton duffle bag, she made sure to pack some of her sexy beach clothes. Someone was bound to know the name Marissa Cooper back at Newport, and she had to look her best, even if she was no longer linked to the modeling agency. She noticed in the corner of her eye that her phone was flashing- it was warning her of a few, unread messages. She paused her work, as she flicked the button off, only to hear a chime of messages.

"_Miss Cooper, you're late! We're waiting here at the Teen People Head Quarters. Where are you?" _Marissa let out a sigh. She'd already attended that meaning early that morning. She was five minutes late, and the magazine agency was on its toes.

"_Hey Mariss'. It's Keels. Mmm, just wanted to ask you- are you at home? Dumb question. Guess not since you're not picking up, right? Nevermind, I'll catch you on your cell. If you do happen to read this, forget it. I wanted you back from lunch, that's all." _Marissa laughed lightly- that was Keely. She couldn't help the surge of guilt as she remembered her rudeness to her only companion in New York. Maybe she could call before she left? Or maybe even stop by? Before she could give it more thought, another message came shuffling in.

"_Marissa, meet me at the café down the street from our office, before you head to Newport- please. It's going to be strictly business- I swear- last pay check, you lay-off contract," _She bit her lip, hearing Derek's voice on the answering machine. She distinguished pain in his monotone voice, as he sighed, "_Please meet me. I'll be waiting- 4 o'clock sharp. It'll take maybe five minutes, tops. Thanks." _She wasn't sure whether or not she would show up, but surely enough, at four o'clock she found herself entering the cozy café, only to be greeted by Derek's comforting hug.

"Don't touch me, thanks," she said briskly, as she sat down, not even bothering to order, "I don't know why I'm here, but since I am, you have five minutes. I've got a plane to catch." Marissa said, folding her arms against the table, as she leaned forward, ready to listen to him.

"Five minutes- alright," he sighed heavily, "Well, I brought your last pay check, and some other papers,"

"What other papers?" Marissa asked curiously.

"Well, since you said you were going to be living in the cottage at Newport, I might as well give you the bulk of the papers- ownership, and what not,"

"Oh yeah, sure." Marissa nodded, looking over at him suspiciously, "Anything I should sign?"

"Nothing but your lay-off papers, and then you're off. Just don't forget to cash in your check, and you're good," Derek smiled weakly, studying her cold face for a minute before he pulled out the paperwork, "Because I'm the exec, it's easy for me to make and break contracts, so consider yourself lucky."

"Yep, oh-so-lucky," Marissa looked over at him mockingly, urging him to continue.

"Um, okay then- just sign here, confirming that you're the one that quit, just so the press doesn't give me shit and all," Marissa signed obediently after scanning the papers quickly, "And your check," he said handing it over to her neatly. She took it, looking at the sum, almost wide-eyed.

"This is double what you owe me," Marissa muttered in awe, "I don't need this – I don't need this from _you _especially. If you think you can bribe me back into a relationship then just-"

"It's not a bribe," he cut her off, before she could assume too much, "I want you to have it. Consider it an apology, but not even- you deserve the money. You were great to work with."

"I'm sure." Marissa muttered quietly, as she started to get up, "That's it? All I have to do and sign? I can go now?"

"Yeah, you can," Derek replied quietly, as he too, got up. He walked over to Marissa, "Listen Marissa, I'm sorry but then again, I understand what position you're in, and I understand that no matter how many times I apologize, things won't be the same. So just remember, that I'm here- waiting for you, if you ever decide to come back to the Big Apple. Not waiting for you love-wise, cause you'll probably meet someone back in Newport, or something. But if you're ever in need of a job- you're always welcome, okay?"

"Yeah, whatever," Marissa said coolly, as she stalked out of the café, leaving him utterly speechless. She figured he expected some sappy goodbye, with a few _I love yous, and I always will _and then a tinge of hugs, and colourful kisses. Marissa wasn't about to give in. This man was now entirely alien to her- nothing she had grown to love. This time, she was positive that he understood that he meant nothing to her. She was positive that he knew it was over. And then he defied his own predictability once more, when he ran over to her, spinning her around, before pulling her into a deep kiss. Marissa simply stared at him, absolutely bewildered, "I don't love you," she said, her voice a mere squeak as she gaze into his eyes in awe.

"Well I love you," he proceeded to say, still holding her closely.

"You just- you just mean nothing to me, okay?" Marissa whispered, scrunching her eyebrows gently in thought, "You hurt me. You hurt me bad, and I'll never forget that, okay, Derek? Don't- don't even try," she continued quietly, pulling away from his hold with a frown, as she made her way towards the door. She raised a hand to her forehead, feeling the cool beads of sweat that started to break from her skin once she felt the cold outside wind pounding against her face. It was too much for her. He was too much for her.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter Six

Ryan smiled lightly, as he pulled her into a kiss, "I knew you couldn't live long without me," he said, pulling her closer to the warmth of his body. They stood in the comfortable outdoors, just in front of Hayley's apartment. He was bringing her back from a nice evening together at the beach. Hayley snaked her arms around his neck, tugging at his hair playfully.

"Don't flatter yourself, honey. Your head's already too big," she giggled, as she continued to kiss him gently.

"You know you love it," he grinned, as he grazed his nose against hers, pulling away from the kiss so that he could gaze into her crystal clear eyes. He smiled, studying her perfect complexion, and her pale pink lips, "You're absolutely gorgeous, Hayles," he whispered quietly, which caused her to blush lightly.

"Now you're inflating my head," she whimpered quietly, as she looked up at him with a timid grin. She giggled softly, giving him a peck on the lips, "I hope you're not expecting some _'I think you're the hottest thing on the planet, too_'. I just finished saying how your ego is too huge for comfort," she teased, as she continued to stare into his eyes.

He laughed, "Don't be a smart-alleck, Hayles," he joked. She pulled him in for a last kiss, before she glanced at her watch.

"I've got work tomorrow morning, Ryan. The smart-alleck has to go home," she said apologetically, pulling away from his tight hold against her waist, "I love you, baby," she whispered quietly into his ear.

"Love you, too," Ryan answered back, almost systematically. He watched the medium-height girl disappear inside her apartment doors. He pocketed his hands, as he started to drift toward his car with an almost lazy, but giddy walk. Unable to resist, he pulled out his phone, dialing Hayley's number, "I miss you already, honey," he said quietly, as he started to get into his car.

"You're not even out of the parking lot," she giggled.

"Yeah… but I miss you- lots. You know how much a day without you can do to a man?"

"Then maybe we should get into fights more often," she giggled quietly, as she peered outside, seeing that he hadn't left yet, "I'd let you in, but I've got work, Ryan- sorry," she explained, "Plus, I'm sure the next time we meet you'll be even more happy to see me," she laughed.

He laughed with her for a moment, "Yeah, definitely," he smiled, "Are you positive you don't want to visit my friend with me? I haven't seen him in a while, and I'm sure he and his wife would love to meet you,"

"Ryan, I'm good," she repeated for the umpteenth time that evening, "You go- you probably have lots to catch up on. I don't want to be like, I don't know- a forth wheel?"

"Sixth- they've got two kids," Ryan laughed, "But okay. Can I see you tomorrow?"

"If I still love you then, then I might think about it," she grinned to herself, "Now get going Ryan! You're not going to get anywhere, if you're parked in front of my apartment," she laughed.

"Fine, fine. But I'm seeing you tomorrow, okay?" Ryan smiled, as he started to turn the engine on.

"_Okay,_" she laughed, "Just go! I'm bored of you," she giggled, "Bye Ryan- love you,"

"Love you too," he said, hearing her click off her cell phone shortly after. He sighed deeply, as he tossed the phone over to the passenger seat. He didn't know why time was moving so quickly. He wanted to know why he had lost touch with his best friend for such a long time. It was the first time, after years that Ryan was going to visit him and his wife in their new home, along the seacoast.

Within a matter of minutes, he was parking his car in front of a giant white-paneled mansion. He smiled to himself, dropping his car keys in his pocket, as he sauntered over to the door. After ringing the door bell patiently, he heard someone coming over to the door, "_Oh my Gosh!" _Summer Roberts greeted him with a burly grin. In a moment, her arms were clasped around his neck, "Ryan, I haven't seen you in_ ages._" She said, pulling away from the hug, as she looked at him in awe.

"Hey, Summer," Ryan laughed lightly, nodding in agreement, "Funny how far you can get, when you live so close," Ryan sighed, with a shy smile.

"Come on in, Ryan," she said, welcoming him inside, "_Seth! _Get down here!" she laughed excitedly, "We've got a visitor- Bring Lucas downstairs, will you?" Summer said, hurrying over to the kitchen, "Seth mentioned you were coming by, so I prepared a few things. I hope you're hungry," Summer smiled warmly, "Go to the salon, and Seth will be down. Anything to drink?" she said, taking a deep, relaxed breath.

"Eh, anything's fine, Summer," Ryan said, hearing Seth rambling down the stairs, with a little curly-haired boy held tightly in his hand. Ryan smiled broadly, "Wow, haven't seen the little guy in a while," Ryan said, taking the little boy from Seth, into his own arms, "Hey Lucas- remember your uncle Ryan?" After a series of grunts and whimpers, Ryan laughed lightly, "Someone's a little shy, huh?" Ryan put the two-year-old boy down, extending his palm for Seth to shake, "Wow, time really does fly," Ryan said, studying Seth.

"Ryan, I don't know what you're doing, but you definitely have to visit me more than once a year," Seth chuckled, "Lucas isn't even going to recognize his ownGodfather," he smiled, "Come in the salon- it's a little more comfortable than just standing."

Ryan followed him in, as he observed the various ornaments that were lying on the shelves around the room, "Wow, this place looks a lot different," Ryan said, as he seated himself on one of the leather couches.

"A little more Jewish?" Seth laughed hardily, nodding, "Yeah, my grandma passed along tons of things, and I had no where else to put it- so here it is," he laughed, and along with him, Ryan. In a moment, Summer came into the room with a platter of hors d'oeuvres, and a few drinks. She seated herself beside Seth, smiling greatly.

"How've you been doing?" Summer asked, almost intrigued, as she seated theSeth Junioron her lap.

"Hey, you're stealing my conversation starters!" Seth complained with a laugh.

Ryan inhaled deeply, and nodded, "Eh, I can't really complain. I'm alive, jobs serving right, the lady in my life still loves me. I guess I'm good," Ryan grinned, "How about you two? I hope little Lucas isn't too much of a handful."

"Well, Summer's parents, and mine- they love taking turns babysitting so we can have some _alone time,_" Seth joked, "It's not that bad. Lucas is a good kid- So is April." he said, his eyes flaring with pride, as he glanced over to his child. Ryan laughed, looking at the resemblance between Seth and the little boy.

"Oh right, and how's April? Where's she?" Ryan asked inquisitively, referring to their little girl, "I'm guessing she's about four now? Five, maybe?"

"She's four," Summer smiled, "Oh, her pre-school friend's mom took them both to the carnival," Summer sighed, "Remember Harbour? Those carnivals were the greatest," Summer laughed, quieting down at the thought of the missing companion from the fantastic four, "So, I'm assuming you haven't heard much from Coop?" Summer said, her voice a little tense.

"Nah, not a word," Ryan nodded, "You haven't either?" he asked casually, trying to hide the discomfort of the topic. Summer shook her head gently, almost apologetically.

"Yeah, the first couple of months we kept in touch, but then she got busy I guess- all those photo shoots and everything- got to give the woman credit, she _is _on every decent magazine cover out there," Summer smiled lightly, "So you mentioned a lady? Any names?" Summer questioned inquisitively, trying to change the topic.

"Her name's Hayley. I'm sure you've seen her in the café near Seth's work?" Ryan said, taking a sip of his ice-cold coke. He put it down, letting the liquid ooze down his throat in the most relaxing manner, "She's definitely something," Ryan chortled quietly.

"Aw, I'm happy for you," Summer smiled at him gently, as she heard knocking against the front door, "Oh, that's probably April now," Summer said, getting up to her feet, "Excuse me," she said, before going to open the front door, "Oh, good evening Tanya! How was April tonight?"

Ryan heard a cold, almost stern voice reply back in the warmest possible way, "She was fantastic, as usual Summer," he heard the woman giggle lightly. If he were to imagine what exactly she looked like, he would see a tall, grave-looking woman wearing a serious expression, covered with eccentric make-up. He half-expected a Julie-Cooper-looking lady, replying to Summer.

"I'm glad then," Summer smiled, "April, did you have fun, honey?" Summer asked warmly, taking her daughter's hand, as she led her inside, "Okay then, thank you so much for taking her out. I'd invite you inside, but I have company."

"That's really alright, Summer. I have to get going with Ashton anyway. Well then, I'll call you if anything. G'night! Say hello to Seth for me." Summer nodded, and smiled waving as her friend walked down the stairs, toward her car. Summer walked inside, behind April, as she led the little girl over to where Ryan was.

"April, this is your uncle Ryan. Do you remember him?" Summer said warmly, as she crouched down beside her, looking up at her. Once Ryan looked over at the girl with a smile, he saw an almost mirror-image of her mother. Dark locks of chestnut coloured hair, tanned-skin, deep, dark eyes- Ryan was bewildered at the resemblance.

"Yep!" The girl replied excitedly, walking over Ryan with a hug, "Hi Uncle Ryan!" she said, bombarding his lap, as she gripped a little purse in her small fingers.

"Hi April," he said, smiling down at her, "Man, Summer. She looks exactly like you," Ryan stifled a laugh, as he continued to study the miniature Summer.

Summer laughed in turn, "It's what everyone is saying," she smiled gently, as she sat back up on the couch, "Ryan grab something, I'm sure you're hungry," Summer asked offhandedly, as she grabbed an hor d'oeuvre herself, "So are you and this Hayley going steady?" She said, as she started to quietly chew the food.

"I hope so," Ryan said, leaning over to grab a piece of the food that was on the platter as Summer had suggested, "She's a great girl, and definitely someone I'd like to go steady with,"

"Enough about the mish mush," Seth scrunched up his face playfully, making April laugh, "Ryan, how come you're so busy you don't even call?" Seth said sternly, "I'm sure April and Lucas want to see you more often- you're like, their coolest uncle, dude!" Seth grinned, "Right, April? Right, Lucas?" When the kids both chimed in with giggles and nods, Seth continued, "I mean, after senior year, and college, after _Marissa _left," Seth ignored Summer's harsh glare, "Sorry, I had to say it- April, Lucas, can you guys go watch some television, or go play? It's time for Uncle Ryan and us to have a little chit chat," The kids shuffled off obediently, "Ryan, you're not the same guy- and I understand why, but we're your best friends for God's sake," Seth explained. Ryan was speechless. He never thought that Marissa was actually the cause of his neglecting his friends.

"You don't know what you're talking about," Ryan stifled an uncomfortable laugh, "It wasn't Marissa that caused us to kind of _drift apart- _it was time, it was work, your kids, growing up- I don't know, just not Marissa." Ryan said, looking over at Seth, with a tinge of confusion molded into his twenty-something face.

"Ryan, I don't know- I really don't. If that's what you believe, then okay. But me and Sum kind of talk about it once in a while, and all the signs point to it that you haven't forgotten her, haven't moved on, and just- won't." Seth said, taking a sip out of his own drink. Maybe he shouldn't have raised this controversial topic? It was obvious that Ryan wasn't yet ready for such an accusation.

Ryan tried to seem cool about it, and he tried to deny the truth about it, but he couldn't. Instead, he just sat there, dwelling in thought, wondering why he hadn't figured that out himself. He needed to finally, be detached from this girl- this amazing girl, Marissa Cooper. He just needed to forget her, "Ryan, she was your first love," Summer said quietly, "We all get it. We all understand why it's so hard for you- we really do. But we want you back, regardless if Marissa's here or not."

"Why are you guys ambushing me like this?" Ryan questioned, unable to comprehend that his friends' emotions were finally spilling in such a melancholy manner.

Summer smiled, "Because we care for you," she started, "And even though you have that girl of yours, you look miserable- And Seth and I want you to be happy, because you're one of our best friends," Summer continued to explain, "When Marissa left, it was like she tore out the best parts of you, and you know it's true. I bet you've never felt the same way after she left- right?" Summer nodded to herself, when Ryan looked up, almost wondering where she was getting all this from, "Ryan, she hasn't forgotten about you either- not entirely," Summer said, pressing her lips together. She got up from her seat, as she reached over for a magazine, "Look at page twenty-three- read it, I don't know, reflect on it?" she shrugged, "Know that she hasn't forgotten about you yet, but she's moving on- you should too."

"What- what is this?" Ryan asked quietly, but as he skimmed through the words, he immediately found out. His heart was throbbing, as he tried to digest the words, _"Well my first love, That guy- wow. From the moment I saw him, honestly, I just couldn't not love him," _Ryan looked around at Seth and Summer, his gaze confused, and yet calm. He lowered his eyes, as he continued to read the interview with Marissa Cooper:

"_So it was love?" I asked the beautiful star, wondering what her reply would be. _

"_Oh, definitely. Of course I still think about him and all, but I've moved on- I really have. Ever since I moved from Newport out to New York, life's been too fast to think about old boyfriends, you know? It was tough at first, and I'm not afraid to admit it,ladies. Breaking up with my first love wasn't easy- sometimes I just wonder where he is, and what he's doing (laughs), but I barely believe that he still remembers me. So that's the gruesome tale of my first love. There you have it," Marissa smiled gently, awaiting my next question._

"_What's the name of this lucky boy?"_

_Although uncomfortable about the question, my interviewee answered politely, "Mmm, his name was Ryan. Okay, next question?"_

The article seemed to drag on, so Ryan simply put it down, looking over at the happy couple's distant expressions, "So, she's moved on," Ryan said, biting his lip. His facial expression changed radically as he changed the subject, "So, anyone up for a little stronger juice?" He chuckled.

"Ryan," Summer said quietly, "She wonders about you, and she cares about you. But you both have to move on," Summer said, "I know you still love her," she said, looking into his crisp eyes, as she stifled a laugh, "You're not very clever about hiding it either. Hasn't your girlfriend ever noticed that she's not the centre of attention? I don't know- you just give off that vibe,"

Ryan shook his head, "Stop assuming that I'm still in love with her- I'm _not. _Things have changed- I have Hayley now. I don't even know that girl anymore," Ryan's voice trailed off, as he tried to explain himself. However, words were failing him. He had nothing else to say to contradict their charges. He sat their quietly, under the heat of their stares.

"Ryan, we don't want you to think that we're attacking you. We're happy for you, where you stand, and everything. But we just miss you, and we think that she did that to you. Are we right, or wrong?" Summer asked quietly.

"You're wrong. You're absolutely _wrong. _I mean, Marissa left what- eight and a half years ago. Are you telling me that I still have feelings for this girl? This girl that I don't even know anymore? She's some big shot model, probably with the biggest exec in the company- it's all so predictable, you guys. I don't have a chance with her anymore. Things have just changed, and I've accepted that."

"Ryan, all I have to say is that one day, you're going to have to face her again. And if you keep denying everything you feel, it's going to be harder to let her go in the end." Seth said, looking over at Summer, embracing her in a hug, "See, if I didn't pursue this little angel, I wouldn't have gotten her. If you still feel for Marissa, it's worth it now more than ever,"

"Seth, I don't think you understand where I'm at. I have a house, a job- a _girlfriend _that I love very much,"

"And you can't leave it, but you _love _Marissa more than you've loved any other girl Ryan- more than Theresa, more than Lindsay, which was a huge cousin-mishap thing, more than this Hayley girl too." Summer cut in, "You love her," she said slowly, hoping that her words would seep in.

"I don't," Ryan replied simply, putting down his glass, "Summer, you and Seth might still be living in senior year. I don't want to be the one to burst your Ryan-and-Marissa-forever bubble, but it was bound to happen. You guys stuck together, we _didn't. _It's as simple as that." Ryan explained, "You think we're so perfect together, but honestly, things really have changed. She's a completely different person- even by her interview, I barely recognize her."

"She's _grown up, Ryan!_" Summer squealed impatiently, "_You _have too! Why can't you see the freaking light? I'm not saying, turn this thing into a mad, wild romance- because trust me, I wouldn't want to suggest any such things. But you two just have to talk- see how things are. Maybe that would give you your 'closure', whatever the hell that means," Summer said quickly. Ryan smirked, as he recalled the usual Summer he remembered, and how her old character was shining through, "Why are you laughing?"

"Because, Sum- you haven't changed _one bit._" Ryan chuckled, looking over at Seth, and back at her, "Like I said. Both of you are still living in high school in spirit, and because you're used to seeing us together, it's what you want. But it's not what I want- it's not even what Marissa wants." Ryan nodded, as he started to get up on his feet, "Listen, it's getting late. I'll be sure to stop by more often- goodnight you two."

"Goodnight," Seth and Summer both chimed, as they walked him to the door, "Think about what we said," Seth reminded, as Ryan walked down the stairs.

"Sure thing!" Ryan called back, "Thanks for the invite," Ryan said, as he started to get into his car. Within a matter of moments, after a last wave, he was driving out of the driveway, and down the street, until he became a mere speck in the midnight glaze.

"We were right, weren't we?" Summer said with a gentle pout, as she cuddled into Seth, watching Ryan disappear into the horizon. Seth let out a little sigh, as he nodded quietly, "I thought so," she responded, the evening breeze fluttering through her hair, "Anyway, let's put the kids to sleep."

"Let's." Seth said, locking the front door behind him.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter Seven

Marissa scrambled around her apartment, throwing random necessities into her purse. Her pace was feverish- her cab was due soon, her plane was leaving in a while. She kept glancing at her watch. The cab was supposed to call in five minutes ago; and yet still, there was no sign of anyone waiting in front of the apartment. Her plump duffle was packed, her purse had a few things scattered in and about. She believed that she would be set to live in this cottage for a couple of weeks, just until the sun started to get into her brain, and until more conflicts would unravel. Things always happened. When her life seemed to be utterly perfect, something lurked around her life, dropping a bomb of problems and mischief. It was inevitable, and she had to get used to it. She almost felt her stomach tying itself in a billion, million knots. Maybe she would get a chance to meet with Summer Roberts, Seth Cohen- _Ryan Atwood. _Maybe karma would bring the fantastic four together again.

She slid out her cell phone, as she called Keely for a last goodbye, "Keely, honey. I'm so sorry for my bitchiness earlier, but you know- it's never easy seeing your fiancé with another woman. So listen, honey, you take care. You're an excellent woman, and I hope another model will be lucky enough to befriend you like I did." Marissa said quietly, "You were an amazing assistant, but most of all an excellent friend." Marissa started, after she heard her hello.

"Oh God, M'rissa. I can't believe you're leaving!" She replied quickly, "I can't believe you're just going to leave, because of a jerk like Derek. You shouldn't, you _really _shouldn't, Marissa,"

"I might come back," Marissa muttered, her heart aching for her friend, "I'm only going to clear my mind. I need that, at least a little of it. I don't know- I need to rid myself of all the bull shit, you know?" Marissa sniffled quietly, "Oh I love you, honey. You've been such a sweetheart," Marissa said, picking up her duffle bag, as she saw a cab pull up in front of her apartment. She bolted out the door, as she continued to speak words of farewell to her friend, "Listen, you take care of yourself. I want to hear from you- you know where to reach me. I want to know how you're doing, honey."

"Oh, don't worry- I'll definitely call you!" Keely smiled into the phone weakly, "Oh, M'rissa. Who am I going to joke around with at work now? All I've got left is the cheating wheeze-bag man whore punk-"

"Don't turn all high school on me, hun. It's okay. I've already given him my piece of mind, and the _cheating wheeze-bag man whore punk _knows not to bother me in my new cottage in Newport," Marissa laughed, as she made her way toward the cab, "Airport please," she whispered as she entered, covering her cell phone for a moment, "Anyway, so yeah Keels. Can you do me a favour though?"

"Yeah, anything," Keely replied, evidently doing some work on the computer, since Marissa heard her hurried clicking on the keyboard.

"Don't make this a big deal- if people at work ask what's going on, say I just left. Don't answer where, or why. I'm sure they'll figure it out when they see their Executive Director with some tiny blonde wrapped all over him. People are always going to talk- I just don't want you to feed the gossip, okay?" Marissa asked gently, looking back at her apartment, which was becoming a mere sliver among the several buildings around it, as they traveled further down the road.

"Sure thing, M'rissa. I kind of knew that regardless if you said goodbye or not, that you didn't want the whole office spurring on your subject. So you can trust me, beautiful!" she laughed gently, "But don't worry- I'll conjure up some payback for the man whore. I'll be ever so subtle about it, so no worries. He'll never suspect a thing," she giggled excitedly.

Marissa laughed, as she shook her head, "Hey, I'm not suggesting anything, but seriously that man should be brought down." She smiled with a sigh, "You know, Keels? I hate goodbyes- I really do. I've had too many of them when I was a kid… and every time I'm faced with having to leave the ones I care about, I feel so shitty inside," she pressed her lips together, clearly troubled.

"It's not like you're leaving _forever, _M'rissa!" Keely chuckled on the other end, but after Marissa's solemn silence, she questioned apprehensively, "You're _not _leaving for, forever are you?"

Marissa shrugged to herself, "I don't know," she said as honestly as she could, "I have nothing here any more. I used to think I could never leave New York because I loved it so much, but I guess what I loved was what I lost now. So, I just have nothing," she said gently, coming to the realization of how much she cared for Derek, "Nothing at all," she said even quieter.

"How about your Mom? Your sister? You're just going to leave them all, and live on a cottage along Newport Beach? I don't know, M'rissa. The Cooper girl I knew would never just give up like that."

"I'm not _giving up, _Keels. I'm starting new, because I just can't- _can't- _be here any more." Marissa scolded carefully.

"Or in other words, you're starting new, because you're giving up on New York. Am I right?" Keely asked quietly, as she stifled a laugh, "Listen, I know how it is. I'm just playing the Devil's advocate- that, and I want you to come back. Got to give you some good think-abouts on the plane ride, right?"

Marissa laughed uneasily, "Yeah, sure. But still, it's _way _tougher than what you think." Marissa said finally, hoping that her friend would not contradict it.

"Well I'll bet- your fiancé just got rowdy with another woman. If _that's _easy for you, then I swear you _are _Superwoman."

"I really don't feel like talking about it."

"Sorry," Keely said gently, "I know it's probably still hard on you… but don't worry. One day you'll laugh at it all, and even thank him for ending the relationship before more lies sprouted, you know? You might not see it now, but you really will." Keely assured, "Now listen, I bet you're kind of busy right now, ready to get to the airport- so just know that I'm here for you, if you ever need a shoulder to cry on. Okay?"

"Okay," Marissa muttered in reply, "Listen Keels, just take care and don't loose touch. Gotta go now, bye hun." Marissa said, clicking off her phone, "Yeah, turn on the third terminal please!" Marissa said, only seconds before the turn. She heaved a great sigh- she couldn't be more ecstatic about leaving New York. There was nothing left for her here anymore. The driver made a squeaky turn, but they were well on their way. Marissa's goodbyes had been made, and she was ready to set off into her old, and yet new world of Newport, "Shit!" she scowled, as she remembered her mother, and sister. How would they find out about her abrupt decision? "Hello Mom?" she said quickly, after she had pulled out her cell phone, and dialed her mother's number.

"Yes, sweetie! Did Derek give you that surprise of his yet?" Julie Cooper replied on the other end. She seemed excited- almost wondering.

"Did he ever," Marissa decided not to speak more on the topic, "Listen, mom? I'm going to Newport, and uh, I might not be back in a bit." She said quietly, curious as to what expression her mother's face wore.

"_What?_ You might not come back? What about the apartment? What about Derek?"

"Sir, just let me out here," Marissa said to the driver in a harsh whisper, "Mom, me and Derek are _done. _Don't ask me about it- I'll tell you when I'm ready. I can't stand New York anymore."

"Over?" She barely understood the life-changing news that her daughter was bombarding her with, and yet she kept throwing more elaborate, but very brief explanations.

"Mom, keep up. I'll call you when I get to Newport, bye." Marissa said, as she scurried out to get her luggage from the back, after which she raced toward the airport entrance. Her flight was leaving soon, and she had yet to do so much. She hurried into line, as she scrambled for her passport, and documents.

"Can I help you?" a lady behind the counter asked, as she approached her.

"Yeah, um. I have a flight leaving in about twenty minutes," Marissa sighed heavily, as she slapped down her ticket and passport, searching for further papers, "Sorry, it's just been a _very _stressful day today."

"It's alright, Miss." She said, scanning through her papers, "Okay, we have a few available seats- even one in first class. Should I sign you up?"

"Yes, _please._" Marissa said, dropping her bags to the floor frustratedly.

"Okay, here's your seat," she said, circling the numbers on her ticket, "You have to be in your gate in five minutes, so I suggest you hurry." The lady replied reassuringly, "Have a good day, Miss." She called after her, as Marissa jogged down the airport, looking up at the signs to find out where exactly her gate was located. When she finally reached it, it was only a matter of moments, before she was asking what direction her boarding area was in. She collapsed on one of the very uncomfortable chairs, as she gathered her things around her.

"Hey, is this seat taken?" a young man proceeded to ask her, right after she had taken her seat. She looked up at his shady, dark hair and his warm smile.

She shook her head, "Nope," she said with a quiet sigh, as she pulled out a magazine from her carry-on. She pretended to seem uninterested.

"Rough day?" he asked, not taking his gaze off of her.

"Mhmm," she continued, as she glanced at her reflection on the cover page. There she was- all beautiful, and happy.

"Wow, that's you, you're here," the man said, looking from the magazine to her, with a confused expression on his face, "You're- you're a model?" he said quietly, as he continued to study her face.

Marissa laughed lightly, looking at his rapidly changing expression, "So what? You're not going to be as _smooth _just 'cause I'm a model? Does it make a difference?" she smirked softly, as she continued to flip through her magazine.

"Well, _yeah _it makes the world of a difference," the stranger said, never tearing his eyes from her face, "But just because you thought I was quote, 'smooth', it gives a guy like me a little ego-boost," he chuckled, and with him Marissa, "But I know, I know," he said after Marissa turned to him, "I shouldn't keep my hopes up," he shrugged with a grin, "But what can I say? Someone as gorgeous as you just takes my breath away."

"Hmm, so is that because I'm a model now, or what?" Marissa teased, a small smile curling the tips of her lips.

"No, no. I'd pick you out of a crowd of a million ladies, regardless if you were a model or not," he smiled, extending his palm toward her, "I'm Kristian," he said politely, waiting for Marissa's hand.

"I'm Marissa Cooper," she replied, shaking his hand lightly.

"Duh, I _know._" He chortled, "Every store I go to, there you are. It's like I practically know you."

"Hey, don't judge," she said firmly, "You don't know a thing about me," she pressed her lips together with a sigh, "I don't think you'd like to, anyway."

"Mmm, you're right. But in case I get bored on the plane ride, I'm sure I'll find you," he smiled gently, "Where are you sitting, might I ask?" he said, pulling out his own ticket. Marissa soon followed, with her own, "Let me guess- first class?" he asked, with a light smirk. Marissa seemed to blush with a nervous shrug, "Great, me too," he smiled, "Let's get boarding then, huh?" he suggested, as he started to get up. Marissa stood up as well with a smile.

"Let's." she replied softly, following him toward the slowly forming line, "So, why are you off to Newport?" she asked, trying to start a casual conversation. She couldn't help but stare into his icy, but warm eyes that stared right back at her.

"Oh, me? I live there," he nodded, with a chuckle, "How about you? I know I've definitely never seen you around Newport before."

"Mmm, yeah. I _used _to live there," Marissa said, getting a chill down her spine as she thought of all that she was going back to in Newport, "It's been a while," she said quietly, "And I can't say I'm not afraid."

"So why are you going back?" he asked politely, slowly scurrying after the progressing line.

"Long story." Marissa muttered.

"Long air plane ride." Kristian replied suggestively, "I'm all ears, if you're all lips- wait, you know what I mean," Marissa laughed, rolling her eyes.

"I don't feel like being _all lips. _It all just happened so fast- I guess it's still a fresh wound," she frowned, "But you're right- long ride, maybe I'll get bored," she smiled up at him faintly.

"Tickets please?" the lady interrupted them, with an extended, grubby hand, ready to scan through their tickets, "Ask the stewardess where you're sitting. Enjoy your flight," she said, ushering them off, before she spoke to another group of people.

The next attendant helped them to their first-class seats, with a wide smile plastered against her pearly-white teeth, "Well what do you know? You're my seat neighbour," he laughed, looking over at her.

"What do you know?" Marissa said, with equal enthusiasm and a laugh. She let out a gentle sigh, "I hope you're in the mood for story time, because something about you- never mind," she said, shoeing the thought away, "You want to hear my life story?" she smirked softly, fumbling with her finger tips as she prepared herself for the heartbreaking story.

"Always," he said in the most reassuring manner, as he looked over at her attentively.

"Okay," she said, exhaling harshly, "Well, okay. I joined this modeling agency, and it was the most perfect thing in my life. I loved it, and I happened to love the executive director even more," she looked up at him, hoping he wouldn't judge her, at the time when she was most vulnerable. She decided to continue nevertheless, "Everything was going fine. We got engaged- he was a total sweetheart. I was positive that I would spend the rest of my life with _just _him, you know?" she shook her head, with an almost laugh, "It was the most amazing thing, until work started becoming his biggest priority, and I kept nagging him about it and then he started to mess around with some pretty blonde behind my back, and if you can imagine, our situation got a little less pretty." She pressed her lips together uncomfortably, "So now I'm here, going to the cottage he bought for _us _which I took over, because I was so furious with him. And now I left everything behind once again, my mom, sister, my life and I have absolutely no idea where I'm going from here." She left off with a quirky shrug, "So that's the life of a model," she smiled distraughtly.

"Wow, and I thought gorgeous people had it easy," he said, trying to think of further comments. He lowered his eyes for a moment, before looking back at her. He took her fragile hand, into his palm, as he continued to stare into her eyes. She looked down at his hand, that was grazing her own so comfortably, and she gave him a questioning stare however he did not shift his hand one bit, "Any guy that doesn't appreciate you, for _you, _isn't worth your time."

Marissa looked away shyly. A second later, she turned to him abruptly, speaking with a new, bold tone, "And why's that? Because you want to get with me?" she said, melting underneath his gaze.

He smirked, "It'd be nice- but leaving aside the fact that you're absolutely beautiful and I'm completely drawn to you. I know it's an overused line, but seriously… if a guy can't love you for your wants, your desires, you overall, then he's really not the guy for you. If a pretty blonde can have more chemistry than you two ever did, than I'm not sure the exec director path is for you."

"See, but I don't know what he felt for her- I don't even know what he felt for me when I left. I left so soon; I have so many unanswered questions," she said quietly.

"Sometimes unanswered questions hurt less," he said serenely, keeping her hand firmly inside of his palm, "Even if you wanted to know, I barely believe this guy of yours would tell you honestly what was on his mind. He had the wit to screw around with another girl, and yet he'd _still _tell you the truth? I don't think so, Marissa," he spoke to her from the bottom of his heart. His words were so genuine, and truthful. Marissa was entirely mesmerized by the confidence in his tone, the finality in every word he spoke. She was feeding off his energy, his confidence, his warmness.

"It'd be nice to know," she replied softly.

"Sure, sure it'd be nice to know," he said convincingly, "It'd be nice to know the truth- but I don't know about you, but I still believe that this guy would give you anything _but _the truth."

"You don't know him," she said defensively, "I loved this man- I just don't know, what we had was precious,"

"I think you answered your own question," he said, nodding to himself lightly.

"What?" she asked, confusion rustling through her eyes.

"I _loved _this man. What we _had._" He simply said.

"Would you ever be able to say you loved someone after they had hurt you so bad?" Marissa whimpered quietly, blinking away her tears, "I just don't think you get it- get it _at all. _I'm not talking about some _fight _or argument. He _cheated _on me, Kristian. I still _love _him, but I can't _ever _forgive that." She said, shock almost brimming her voice.

"Don't get me wrong," he said, once she slid her hand away from him, "Please, don't. I've been cheated on before," he muttered, "And I _know _it's not easy in any sense, but just- you have to learn to pick yourself up from the simplest things. If you're ready to say that you _loved _him, and say it as a thing from the past, you should benefit from that, and help yourself from that."

Marissa shook her head lightly, "If you've been cheated on before, you know that even the simplest things aren't anything to be happy for," Marissa frowned, "I feel like I wasn't _good enough. _I felt so strongly for him, and it all just meant nothing. If it meant _anything _to him,then we would still be together- we'd still be getting married, and we'd _still _have our perfect, little, flawless lives."

"But you don't."

"_Exactly." _Marissa said, "Now you're _finally _starting to get it," she said, looking away for a moment.

"It's never easy in the beginning," he whispered quietly, "You've just got to believe that things get better, and that life doesn't end on your _first love._" Marissa winced, trying hard not to reply in a brutal manner. She took one single breath, and smiled gently.

"He wasn't my first love at all. There were men that I've loved much more than I've ever loved him, but those men are gone, and I've lost them."

"So you're settling?"

"Yes, actually," she shrugged, "_Settling. _Settling because I know that I'll never attain that _great love _again, no matter who I'm with, or what I do. Settling because I felt happy, I honestly did. I half-believed it was love, and then he pulled something like that."

"So really you're the cheater."

"_Excuse me? _You're really starting to annoy me with your short, smart-assy comments. You're supposed to be helping me, not pissing me off." She said coldly, as she looked at him curiously.

"You're the cheater," he repeated, this time with a brighter smile, and a happier expression. Marissa focused on him inquisitively, waiting for him to continue before she spurted out with another comment, "You didn't _love _him. He was just the _other guy._"

"He wasn't _just _the _other guy,_" Marissa retorted, "I was going to marry him for God's sake. That means something, does it not?"

"You were going to marry him, because he was just another _option that_ you happened to be madly infatuated with."

"It wasn't infatuation! Stop assuming so much crap. You don't know what you're talking about!" Marissa said, stepping away from the cold realization that he was probably right.

"I know a thing or two about a thing or two- so I'm told," he said, a satisfied smirk on his lips, "Hey, you don't have to admit that to yourself today, honey. It is _hard _to realize it altogether, let alone on the first day. One day, you'll look back at this conversation, when you're happily married with that guy, that wasn't option- that was your _priority. _You'll look back, and you'll tell yourself- _Wow, how stupid was I to believe that I liked the exec guy._"

"Please don't judge me," she said quickly, "You've got me all figured out- so you think," she raised an eyebrow, frustration evident on her face, "You don't know a thing or two about me, and you may think you do, but you're wrong. So like I said, don't judge me."

"Listen," he said, "Don't get so offended- it's not my problem you're so egoistical," he looked over at her tentatively.

"Excuse me? You know what? I'm sure I can enjoy my ride back in silence. I don't need to be having this conversation, thanks."

"Oh, right. Typical model that doesn't talk with un-model people," he tried to hide his smile, as he continued to press her.

"I'm _not _that shallow! I talked to you, didn't I?"

"Wow, how gracious of you."

"Ugh, _shut up! _" She said brusquely, calling over a stewardess immediately afterwards, "Excuse me, Miss, but are there any empty seats in the business class? I'm feeling a bit woozy up here," she said, shooting a glare at her neighbour.

"Oh I'm sorry, honey. It's a full plane. There's nothing I can do," she said apologetically.

"Fine," Marissa muttered grumpily, turning to Kristian, "You listen, you little know-it-all-"

"Great, we're getting all elementary school on each other," he chuckled.

"I'm _not _kidding. I want to ride back to Newport in peace, is that clear?"

"Crystal," he said with a smile. After a moment of satisfactory silence, he turned to her reluctantly, "Hear me through, and I swear to you that I'll leave you alone, okay?" Marissa turned to him, and nodded, turning her head back to that spot on the wall on which she was concentrating on earlier, "Okay, but look at me, because there are a few answers that you have to give me," he said, waiting for her full attention, "You're angry right now, because you've been dumped, right? Well then I just don't understand _why._"

"It's not the dumping part that kills me. It's the fact that he had to _lie _and be so dishonest with me, that I'm angry. He was going to send me to Newport, without telling me about his little fling there. Can you _ask _a stupider question?" Marissa turned to him, almost wondering where his point was.

"So, I reckon he was happy with you?" he asked, a comfortable smile against his lips.

"Obviously _not _if he cheated on me," Marissa said, urging him to hurry on with his discussion.

"So then, would you rather find that out _after _you two married?"

Marissa inhaled, "No, I wouldn't- is that what you were leading up to?"

"Actually, yes," he replied, "If you're going to mope around just because you found out the truth, then I really don't understand you. Some people would die for the truth, and only do they get it when it's too late. You're fortunate- you should understand that. Clear?"

Marissa thought for a moment, avoiding his gaze, "Crystal," she whispered, with a frown.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter Eight

"So," Kristian tried to ignite yet another conversation, "Are you going to try and get in touch with any of your old friends? I'm sure you left behind a bunch," he smiled at her tensely. She rolled her eyes, as her lips curled into a smile.

"You know if you weren't so charming, I'd be going to Newport in the bathroom," she let out a tiny giggle, as she pondered the question, "I don't know- I left so soon, I barely think my old friends even give a damn about me anymore. Neither of them really tried to keep in touch,"

"Well, you have to give them credit, assuming the life of a model is _trés busay,_"he chuckled.

"Your French is so _horrible,_" she said, adding a small French accent to her 'horrible'.

"And how would you know?" he asked defensively, looking over at her, "_Comment le savez-vous?"_

"Better," Marissa chuckled, "And I know because I was stranded in Paris on a modeling contract for six months. I _had _to talk to the cute French boys _somehow," _she joked lightly, "Well, the first part is true anyway. I learned tons of French, so I can pick out _bad _French any day," she giggled.

"Hey, you best not be mocking my _Français, _missy," he pretended to act as though offended, which only made Marissa laugh harder, "What on _earth _is so funny? I don't find my French funny. I don't even find myself funny- _why are you laughing? _" Marissa fell into a sort of laughing hysteria, and her harmonious cackle could be heard throughout the plane, "Marissa! Any louder!" which made her howl with even more laughter, "What's the use?" he said slapping his hands down against his thigh, heaving a great sigh, "You models are weird, you know that?" Marissa finally settled down from her laughing-fit, inhaling deeply.

"_Weird? _Please," Marissa said with a smirk, "Keep in mind, I'm still talking to you- and I don't have to," she teased, her smile only extending into a grin.

Kristian sighed, "Why thank you, Miss Gorgeous Model. You're so super for talking to such _muggles._" He smiled at her lightly, "Back to the friend bit, you really should give your friends some credit. I'm thinking that you were away almost everywhere, so what if they tried to keep in touch, but you just didn't listen?"

Marissa groaned, "What's your current occupation?"

"I work at a Doctor's office,"

"Go figure," she muttered, "You just seem like such a smart ass after everything you say," Marissa answered his questioning look, with a smile, "Not that I don't find it adorable, it's just annoying when you think my life is _that _easy."

"It _is _easy. You do a little photo-shoots, give some interviews, see yourself in every magazine- come on, Marissa. Besides, electricity _does _exist, and so do phones. You can easily call up your buddies and just hang out."

"Oh, and it wouldn't be the least bit awkward, would it?" Marissa shook her head lightly, "I'll call them up," she said, more so to keep him quiet.

"You will?"

"I _will." _Marissa answered momentarily.

"Good stuff," he said, as he threw his head back against the seat out of sheer boredom, "Not to say you're boring, Marissa, but this plane ride is just taking way too long."

"Ditto," she muttered, turning over to him, "But I'm saying you're boring- sorry," she said with a giggle.

He sighed, "Oh I thought so. Usually models need someone extremely exciting in their lives- like a daredevil or something, I don't know."

Marissa laughed, "Oh you're _so _right."

"Prove me wrong," he whispered quietly, looking over at her.

"What if I don't want to?" she raised an eyebrow playfully.

"Then you'll forever mold the idea that all models are self-centered little-"

"I get the idea," Marissa smiled, "I'm too lazy to prove you wrong. Let's play a game instead," she thought for a moment, "Twenty questions. I ask one, you tell me the brutal truth and vice versa. Got it? If you lie, I'll get a man model after you," she smiled intently.

"I'm afraid so. You start- your game," he said, turning her full attention to her.

"Fine then. Let's start with, when was your very first kiss- that's _if _you've ever had one." Marissa smiled, awaiting the answer.

"Ha ha ha," he said dryly, "Well I'll have you know that I kissed my first girl when I was thirteen. One of those _real_ kisses too,"

"Aw, Kristian. Kissing your grandma for practice doesn't count!" Marissa teased, with a grin, "I'm just joking with you, hun. Your turn. Ask me anything," Marissa smirked, awaiting her question.

"Mmm, okay," he smiled, "What's the worst part of being a model?" he said, genuinely trying to add a hint of seriousness to the game.

"Worst part? Being taken advantage of," she sighed lightly, as she started to fumble with her fingers curiously, "What can I ask you?" she muttered to herself, as she looked up at the air plane's ceiling, "Well, let's make it easy- have you ever been in love?"

He smiled at her lightly, "Maybe I have," he said quietly, as he searched his mind for more potential questions, "I've got a good one for you- do you believe in love at first sight?"

"That's really is a good one," she stifled a laugh, as she proceeded to ponder her mind, "Well- _no. _Love at first sight is purely judgmental. You don't _know _the person. For all you know you're falling in love with some whack-o assassin and what are you going to do then? Tell them- _Oh, I thought you were more into cars, and girls. _How about you?" she asked, entirely intrigued.

"Wow, well this is what I think of it. There are these certain people that just give off this warmth, and I don't know, maybe even vibe that you can connect with. So yeah, I believe in love at first sight," he inhaled deeply, not breaking his gaze, "Well I have to tell you now that you're forcing me," he chuckled, "So one time I saw this girl."

"Oh really? That's super-fabulous, Kristian. I've never seen a girl- _ever._" She said, sarcasm padding her soft voice.

"_Anyway,_" he smiled, "And I don't know, I just felt _drawn _to her. We've never exchanged a word before, she didn't even know that I existed, but when we actually started talking, she was everything that I had imagined. She was interesting, and exciting. Everything about her just stimulated me- I wanted to be around her, because she was just such a fun, and amazing person. I still don't really _know _this girl, because she's so unpredictable, but her character is just so- _bold, _I love it, and I honestly think I love her." He finished with a deep breath, and a grin, "My turn," he said, trying to think of another question. As he thought, Marissa stared into his eyes trying to decipher the mystery behind the gorgeous blue depth, "Oh, I got one. Hm, you said you already lived in Newport. Have you ever thought about your old flames?"

"Sure I have, not just now," Marissa smiled, "Here's my story. There was this one boy. Anyway, I had this unbreakable chemistry with him. It went from sheer infatuation, to this huge, yet fragile _love,_" Marissa smiled at his remembrance, "When I moved to the Big Apple, things kind of fell apart. 'Cause you know, long distance relationships don't have a single chance of surviving. Speaking of which, do you think that long distance relationships can work?"

"If both parties are open to it, and are in so much love- then yeah. But it can't work for any random couple, you know? They have got to be going through the _real thing._"

"That's not true," Marissa turned her head for a moment, "Me and this guy _had _the real thing, but time just split us in two. We're now two completely different people, and there's probably nothing that will ever change that."

"Are you sure you two have changed? I'll bet you haven't seen him in a _long _while," he commented brusquely, his gaze unfaltering.

"It's called we've both grown up- that has _got _to account for something, right?"

"Wow, so you were even crazier as a teen?" he joked, accepting her playful punch as though he expected it, "I'm _kidding, _relax!" he smiled at her toothily, as she stared right back at him.

"My point- we've both changed, and things just won't _go back _to how they were, no matter how much we pretend,"

"Not with that kind of attitude," he chuckled.

"Tell me more about this _love _of yours- your love at first sight. She sounds perfect," Marissa smiled, eager to change the topic- eager to get the limelight off of her.

"Oh she is- from what I know, of course," he smiled at her, a genuine curiosity in the twinkle of his eye, "Can I show you around my area of Newport?" he blurted out, shattering the impeccable silence.

"I'm pretty sure I know my way around Newport, Kristian," she said unsurely, giving him a questioning glance.

"Oh come on, that was ten years ago, was it not? Tons has changed, I'll keep you updated."

"First of all, it's been like, eight. And second of all, I'm not a computer- I _don't _need to be updated." Marissa said firmly, "Why would you want to take me around anyway when there's this girl you are in total love with?"

"Oh I don't know," he heaved a small shrug, "She's the kind of girl that doesn't really pay attention to me, you know? One time, I asked to show her around, and she blew me off- you know how it is," he laughed. Marissa stared at him awkwardly, "What, what's the matter? You're looking at me funny," he said quietly.

Marissa continued to stare at him. _He is unbelievable! _She thought in her quiet, undisturbed mind. Love at first sight? Why hadn't she figured it out before. She started to laugh. She started to laugh hysterically, "Are you _kidding me?_" Marissa squealed, her laugh not ceasing even though he started to blush, "Please, Kristian. You don't know me _at all, _and the only vibe I'm giving out is the _I-just-got-dumped-leave-me-alone, _so unless you're so pretentiously attracted to that – which I barely believe because you seem like a normal, _grounded _guy- then I don't know, you're just weird then."

"What are you talking about?" he asked defensively.

"Listen, honey. From what I see, you're an amazing guy, but I find it pathetic, and sad that you can say you _fell in love with _a girl that you've known for what, an hour?" Marissa shook her head quietly, "_Wow, _I'm just speechless."

"Me too- because I don't have the slightest idea as to what you're talking about."

"Fine then. Because you're so speechless, I'll bet you wouldn't mind spending the rest of the flight in silence. At the moment, I am only slightly frightened- because, y'know." Marissa said, shifting so that she was facing the front.

"Marissa, what are you talking about? You don't think that the girl I've fallen in love with is you, do you?"

"Tell me otherwise," Marissa replied coolly.

"I will! You've got it _all _wrong."

"Do I?"

"Oh please," he said firmly, "Do you honestly believe that I'm the kind of mushy guy that says he's fallen in love with this super-model girl that he doesn't know?"

"I don't know enough about you, to believe anything." She kept her part of the conversation quick, and curt so that she wouldn't have to face him further. Something inside of her urged her to make up her mind, and realize that it was _her _that he was actually talk about- perhaps it was some sort of instinct, perhaps just a feel that she was receiving from this stranger.

"Can you look at me for just a sec'?" He asked, touching her cheek so that she would turn her face toward him, "I think you're beautiful and all, but _God, _you're _way _too conceited for my liking. There are about fifty million girls on this planet, and yet you think _you're _the one that I _love? _Think about it rationally for a minute, before you jump into such colossal conclusions," he muttered, "The most I could ever feel for you right now is friendship, okay?"

Marissa shook her head and smirked, "Then I apologize, for assuming so much," she said humbly, turning back to him, "But hear _me _out. I wouldn't assume so much if you weren't so- I honestly don't know. It's just something that radiates from you. And it's not like you were exactly subtle either- almost everything you said ideally corresponded to _me._" Marissa explained.

"I guess it kind of _was _coincidental, right?" he lowered his gaze, "I'm sorry for making things so awkward then, Marissa." He muttered an apology.

"Alright," she said, her tone light and unbothered, "Let's continue with our game- no more awkward questions, _please._" She said with a nod, "I'll start off again. Uhh, well. Have you ever written a poem voluntarily?" she said with a tiny giggle.

"Must I answer that?" he smirked softly, holding back a shy chuckle. After Marissa nodded, he smiled lightly, "Mmm, well then I'm afraid so. _Once, _for this girl I liked. But she laughed at my poem, and didn't like me back- so it was a disaster, and I never wrote another one."

"Aw, you poor thing. She broke your heart, didn't she?" Marissa pouted reassuringly, trying hard not to giggle, "That's okay. I wouldn't have _ever _wanted a poem from a boy at a young age- chocolates, or some rhinestone jewelry would have done it. Yeah, something shiny," she smiled sympathetically, "Ask me a question- anything you want to ask me."

"Have you ever gotten so drunk that you couldn't remember what happened the next day?" he said, smiling as he awaited her answer.

"Hell _yes,_" she grinned, replaying the memory in the back of her mind, "_Yes, _I have sadly. Not something I'm entirely proud of, but you know how it is," she giggled, brewing another question in her mind, "I don't know," she frowned, "What else can I ask you? Have you ever had feelings for your friend?"

"Girl friend you mean?"

"Whatever floats your boat," Marissa chortled.

"Hmm, I think I have had feelings for my good friend before. I never ended up telling her though- wait. Maybe I did- maybe _that's _why she doesn't talk to me any more."

Marissa huffed, "Guys are _always _like that. First they tell you they're your friends, and then they bull shit you with some crushes and what not. I wouldn't have talked to you either. That's so," she groaned, "When I confide in a guy friend with all my problems and such, and I don't want him to turn on me and tells me he loves me. I think things get just _too _complicated, whether I like him back or not. It's like, throwing away a perfectly good relationship," she frowned, "I'm talking like this, because it's happened before, and it was miserable."

"Well, not all guys have those kinds of intentions. I mean, you can't choose who you love, right?"

"No, you _can't, _but still. Why not just keep it inside, and savour the essence of the friendship? I mean, isn't that enough? You're never going to get the same amount of the girl's heart, even if you _were _going out. As a friend, a girl can tell you _more _than if you were together, get my idea?"

"Well, yes, I guess… but still. I didn't intentionally love her. I didn't _intentionally _tell her that I loved her. Everything just sort of, unraveled, and I was in the midst of it all. I couldn't control a word I was saying. All I could see was her facial expression changing drastically, and my heart pounding inside my chest like I'd ruined everything,"

"You _did _ruin everything," Marissa said boldly, "I just absolutely detest the fact that you can't _ever _have a healthy friendship with a guy, without screwing around- you know?"

"Don't judge, Marissa. You don't know what goes on in guy's minds, and even if you did, you wouldn't be able to understand it completely," he paused for a second, "That's just how it is- how it's meant to be. Guys don't get girls, girls don't get guys, and although people have come close to breaking the barrier, it's never exactly ideal,"

"I agree," She said simply, her voice light and carefree, "I _totally_ agree," she shrugged gently, hearing the pilot's voice booming out of the speakers.

"We will be landing in a few minutes. Please put your seatbelts on, and enjoy the rest of the flight." And with that, his masculine voice had detached itself from the ears of all the passengers. Marissa looked over at Kristian eagerly.

"Wow, that was pretty quick," she smiled, clipping her seat belt on, as she started to gather her things from around the floor.

"Yep," he smiled at her lightly, "Listen Marissa, I was wondering if-"

"Oh, and just one other thing ladies and gentlemen, it was a pleasure being your pilot for the flight. The temperature in Newport is twenty-nine degrees, very warm, pleasant and sunny. I hope you have a great stay here, on behalf of the crew. Take care!" He disconnected himself once more. Marissa looked over at Kristian,

"Hey, were you saying something?" she asked, pausing the search of her things for a moment. He shook his head vigorously, "Are you sure?" she asked, scrunching her face up in confusion lightly. He nodded, and with that she shrugged, "Alrighty then," she smiled, zipping up her purse, and briefcase, "Well then I'm ready to go." She said with a giddy smile, as she started to feel the pressure rising in her ears, "God, I hate this part of the ride," she muttered, raising her hand to her ears.

"It's not that bad if you don't think about it," he tried to sound supportive.

After a moment's worth of time, the plane's wheels finally crashed and squealed against the pavement. Finally, Marissa could actually see all the tiny buildings and ant-sized cars overwhelming her, "Oh my God," she whispered in amazement. She was finally there. She was finally in Newport- her home, her past. It was the place where all her dearest memories originated. It was the place that held the most special, and memorable spot in her broken heart. It was the place that she yearned to visit once more. And now, she was finally here. The sun was breaking through the open slivers in the window. The busy, Newport lifestyle swarming in and around, "Wow," she whispered again, her jaw dropped slightly, as she admired the beauteous environment. She sat there, hushed. She could barely believe that such an old place, would evoke such vivid emotions inside of her.

"Are you alright?" Kristian asked quietly, seeing how speechless she was. He was searching her face for the slightest smile, or sign of happiness. All he saw was absolute wonder.

"I am now,"


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter Nine

Marissa smiled as she waddled off the plane, her briefcase and purse held tightly in her hand. With Kristian shortly behind her, they both went to pick up their luggage. Within a matter of moments, they retrieved their bundles of joy, leading themselves toward the airport exit. Marissa shed a layer as they walked out, the warmth beating against their faces.

"So I guess this is it," Kristian smiled at her, pocketing his hands.

"Oh _please,_" Marissa chuckled, "It's not like you're going anywhere- I'm not planning to go anywhere either. I'm sure we'll see each other around." Marissa said with a broad smile.

"Make sure you call me up if you ever decide on the tour," he grinned, calling over a taxi, "Just because I know how hard it is to get a taxi cab around here, I'll get the first one for you."

Marissa laughed, "Oh Kristian, I'm totally capable of getting my own cab, thanks. I _have _been living in the Big Apple for quite a bit," she said politely, "So this one's yours," she said, walking over to the halted car with him, "So listen, thanks for making my plane ride a little less short- not to say, a little more frightening," they both laughed, "I'm kidding. I'll call you up if anything- I _do _have your number," she smiled, giving him a light peck on the cheek. A very professional, goodbye peck on the cheek.

Kristian smiled at her shyly, as he disappeared into the cab, looking back at her from the back seat. Marissa smiled one last time, swinging her purse over her shoulder, "Cab!" she called out, fluttering her hand in the air, towards the nearest cab. It almost immediately stopped, right beside the curb, "And that's how it's done, Kristian," she smirked, getting into the cab.

"Where to, Miss?" The driver turned his attention to her.

She started to search her pocket for the sheet that had the cottage's address scribbled on it. She quickly read it out loud.

"Then we're off," the driver said, hitting the gas pedal, as he started to drive through the mass of cars around them. Marissa's eyes seemed to be glued to the blur outside her window. Sure, she'd remembered it from eight years ago, but everything had a different air to it. Everything seemed so unfamiliar, so alien to her.

"Actually, can you stop at the next block? I'll walk the rest." She said, taking a deep breath. She wanted to let this new environment soak in. She wanted to smell the scent of Newport, she wanted to feel it entering her lungs, and leaving them with every sharp breath. She wanted to explore the new shops, and every inch of the sidewalks. She wanted to become familiar with it once more. She turned her head to look at the shop names, and the various things in the display. She looked over at her favourite ice cream shop- _Still there,_ she noticed with a smile. She entered it eagerly, standing in the short line in front of the desk. She even remembered the old owner, that was standing handing out the ice cream cones. With just a few more fresh wrinkles, and that same, signature smile, Marissa couldn't wait to get her share of her favourite ice cream.

"_Marissa Cooper?" _The owner squealed, as she looked at her from head to toe, "Marissa Cooper!" She said again, with a little more wit, "God girl! I haven't seen you here in _forever! _What brings you to Newport!"

"I had an ice cream craving, you know how it is. I had to come to the best ice cream parlor in the world, Cathy." Marissa smiled cheekily, as she gave the aging woman a hug over the counter.

"Oh honey!" she grinned deeply, "I thought you big shot model, wouldn't have any time to come back to your hometown," she chuckled, glancing at the strangely short line, "How about this. I finish off with these customers, and then we chat for a bit?" she smiled, her motherly smile, one that Marissa remembered oh-too-well.

"Sounds perfect," she smiled with a sigh. She felt a little bit at home already, with her favourite cone of ice cream, inside her favourite parlor, "Cathy, how about this. I'm going to be here for a long while, how about I come back tomorrow? I just got here, you know. I kind of want to take a look around?" Marissa smiled suggestively.

"Well hey, if you promise to get your pretty face back in here, then I'll let you go today. Deal?"

"Deal," Marissa chuckled, raising her hand in a wave, "See you tomorrow, Cathy!" she smiled, looking back into the fast-paced world outside that small, cozy little parlor. Now, with a little more confidence, she started to roam the shops, and strain her neck as she looked at the towering buildings. She smiled, taking a nibble of her cone, as she continued to stroll down the sidewalk. As she admired everything in her surroundings, she felt the world come to an astounding stop. It was as though it was waiting for her to accustom to this beautiful place. Even though her own world had silenced, she felt everyone else buzzing around her busily- she didn't care though. She was too absorbed in Newport's beauty to care.

"I'm so sorry," she felt someone bump into her clumsily. She recognized that voice. She quickly turned around, her face swollen with shock. She clasped her jaw with her hand, almost dropping her ice cream.

"Summer!" She squealed, clasping the petite brunette in her embrace, "God! Summer!" She continued to squeal, with a series of giggles following.

"My God, Coop! What the hell are you doing here?" Summer Roberts' voice was about ten pitches higher than it normally was. She couldn't help but stare at Marissa, almost bewildered that she was here. She could barely believe that she was standing in front of a top-model, a magazine-beauty, but most importantly, her best friend. Summer raised her fingertip to the corner of her eye, swiping a tear from sight, "I can't believe you're here," she said quietly, looking at Marissa with a gleaming smile, pulling her into yet another hug.

Marissa smiled, ready to burst into tears. How could she have assumed that so much had changed over the years? The woman that stood in front of her, seemed just like the same girl she left behind. Marissa looked over at the child whose palm Summer clutched in her hand. She recognized the curly hair, the complexion.

"Oh my God," Marissa said, crouching down to get a better view of the boy, "Oh my God!" She repeated again, looking up at Summer disbelievingly, "This _has _to be like, the Seth Cohen Junior. Am I right, or am I right?" Marissa said, her tears almost ready to erupt, "I can't believe I missed all this," Marissa pouted lightly, as she got back up to her feet. Both Summer and Marissa were sniffling, as they stared at each other incredulously.

"Oh my God, I can't believe you're _here,_" Summer said, inhaling deeply, "What are the odds? Seth and I, and _Ryan,_" she paused when she noticed Marissa's uncomfortable expression, and yet she continued nevertheless, "We were all talking about you just recently. Oh my God, I just can't believe you're here." She said again, "Do you have any place to stay? What are you _doing _here, Coop?"

"Ah, it's way too complicated for my liking," Marissa smiled.

"Do you have anywhere to stay?" Summer asked again.

"Well, yes I do, actually," Marissa answered.

"Then you'd be sinning if you didn't at least come and visit us," Summer grinned wildly, "Come on, I'm going home right now with Lucas right now, come- I'll get you a ride," she smiled, sighing again, "Wow, I still can't believe this. I better not be dreaming, Coop."

"I better not be either," Marissa said, following Summer into her stylish car, "God, you're so well-off,"

"_So are you!_" she said quickly, "_Hello, _Coop. Who's the super-model here?" Summer giggled, "I'm _so _proud of you! I tell the world that you're my best friend every time I see you on the covers- it's a shame they don't believe me," she laughed lightly.

Marissa chuckled with her, "I missed you guys so much. I can't believe I didn't have enough time to pop in and say hello."

"Yeah, me neither." Summer frowned serenely, "Oh my, I bet there are _tons _of people that would die to see you right now," she grinned deeply.

Marissa laughed, "I sure hope so," she smiled lightly, looking over at Summer inquisitively, hoping that she would swallow her idea. She wondered about Ryan. Summer half-nodded, shedding a bold smile.

"And there's even this _one _extra-special person, that I _know _would love to see you," Summer said, her gaze curious yet thrilled. Marissa avoided her gaze for a moment, for she knew her flaring eyes would betray every sweltering emotion inside of her. She knew that Summer would see the downright excitement in her eyes. After all these years, she still wanted to seem at least a little cool about things.

"Really, who?" Marissa asked casually, pretending as though she had no idea who Summer was talking about. Summer smirked, almost laughing straight in her face.

"Don't tell me you _don't _know," Summer smiled gently, waiting to see Marissa's expression. Surely, when Marissa looked up, Summer could easily pick out the giddy facade that Marissa was hiding.

"I _really _don't know," Marissa shrugged, looking at Summer occasionally.

"Yeah, _right._" Summer teased, "Well, anyway. I'm sure there's a certain Chino-boy that would love to see you, while you're here. By the way, what's the occasion? Why are you finally visiting Newport?"

Marissa looked away uncomfortably, as she, Summer, and Lucas started to get into the car, "It's a long story,"

"It's a long ride home- actually, it's _not, _but I'd still like to know," Summer smiled encouragingly, placing the keys into the engine, "So spill. You're not going to keep something away from your _best friend _are you?" Summer smiled. For the first time in eight years, she could truly feel the shine of her best friend bestowed upon her. She could finally feel the closeness that was supposed to hover between them throughout the years. She could finally feel that she honestly, and truly had a best friend again.

"Well, I was a model," Marissa started, ignoring Summer's series of _mhmm's _and _aha's, _"Well I worked in this agency, and I kind of hooked up with the executive director. Things were going amazingly, they _really _were. And then things kind of fell apart, so now I'm here." Marissa said, giving her a gist of what actually happened.

"That's not a long story," Summer said coolly.

"Yeah, well there's more. But I don't think Lucas should hear it all," Marissa chuckled, and Summer nodded vaguely, "See, it really is more complicated than you could imagine," she smiled thoughtfully, "Anyway, Summer! How could you _not _invite me to yours and Seth's wedding?" Marissa said, studying the rock on Summer's finger.

Summer shrugged, "I tried to reach you," she looked up at Marissa, "Your mom told me you were in France, or Italy or something- _whatever. _I tried to postpone it, but everything was already set. I wanted you to come, and be my maid of honour- it was supposed to be amazing," she said, heaving a troubled sigh, "I'm sorry you couldn't make it,"

"So who was your maid of honour?" Marissa asked, wondering if she really wanted to hear the answer.

Summer smiled uneasily, "Taylor," she said softly, "I wish you could have come though." Summer said distraughtly, as she drove smoothly.

"I wish I could too," Marissa frowned, "My mother didn't even _tell _me that you called. I would have called right back, or flown from France back here. I would have done it all," Marissa said quietly, "Anyway, Sum. Do you know if uh, Ryan is-"

"Ryan's single," Summer giggled, seeing how uneasy Marissa was getting on the topic, "Well, kind of single. He's having an on and off relationship with this one waitress- but I don't think it'll last." Marissa looked hurt, upon Summer's speech, "Coop! You, compared to some waitress chick is a _huge _difference. Don't you think that Ryan would drop her, at the mere sight of you? He wouldn't care if you've changed- I'm positive he still talks about you, thinks about, _loves you._" Marissa squirmed in her seat, "Listen Coop. We'll find this little lodging of yours, you'll get yourself unpacked, we'll go out and see everyone, and then you're coming for dinner. Coincidentally, I invited Ryan for dinner yesterday. Works out nicely, hm?" Summer said with a proud smile.

"Sum, are you sure he'd like to see me? Things were kind of broken where we left off…" Marissa's voice trailed off, "I don't know. I think that, I don't know, he's different- and what if he's in _love _with that girl?"

"What, _Hayley? _Please, Coop. This is just some waitress he picked up, out of boredom. It's nothing, _lovey-dovey. _I haven't even _met _the girl," Summer smirked, "So basically, you have zero competition, honey." Summer said with an heartening smile, "So where's this cottage of yours?" Summer asked, nearing the coastline. Marissa handed her the address, on the flimsy sheet of paper. Summer's eyes widened, "_You're _the owner of _that?" _Summer asked, with an almost gasp. She turned to grin at Marissa, "Honey, that's the biggest, prettiest cottage you could _ever _ask for!" Summer squealed, "Have you ever seen it before?" Summer asked quickly, and after Marissa shook her head, Summer sped up cautiously, "Damn, Coop. Your executive director guy must have been loaded," Summer chuckled.

"Oh he was," Marissa commented, "Except in the wrong ways," she said, a little quieter. Summer didn't take notice of her latter comment, as she drove excitedly toward Marissa's lodging.

"Coop, every soul in Newport wishes to own that cottage," Summer pointed out carefully, "_Every soul," _

"Gotcha," Marissa said with a meek smile, "I can see you're quite excited," Marissa laughed lightly, "So how about you move the dinner thing over to my place? You just bring the dinner," she chuckled, "I'm sure Lucas and Seth would love that,"

"Hey, you're forgetting April, and _one _other special person," Summer scolded, "Listen, we'll have a dinner get-together at your place soon. First, you get settled, and then we talk."

"Who's April?" Marissa asked almost immediately afterwards.

"That's my daughter, Coop," she smiled, a look of pride powdering her face.

"I missed that _too?_ Are you kidding me?" Marissa asked, shocked, "Can you tell me _anything _else, before I totally explode? I missed the most important events in your life, and I can't do anything about it. I even missed Harbour's _grad," _she recalled sadly.

"Oh, Coop. Didn't you think you'd miss all this? Didn't ever give it the least bit of thought? All these years I've wondered _why _you never cared about us anymore, and I tried to give you the benefit of the doubt- that you're _really _busy. But it still hurt, all these years."

"I feel like such an idiot," Marissa said softly, "I mean, I could have at least _tried _to contact you guys,"

"Listen, Coop. Why dwell on the past? No matter how much you regret it all, it doesn't make a difference, okay?" Summer said, "All I can say, is that I'm ecstatic you're here now, and let's just forget what happened- or what didn't happen, okay?" Marissa nodded unsurely, "Coop, this is it," Summer's car came to a stop, in front of a giant cottage, that looked as cozy and sweet as any other.

"God, are you kidding me?" Marissa said, hopping out of the car. She looked at it, in amazement, "Derek really got this for us?" She whispered to herself quietly, guilt raging in her insides, "Oh my God- _wow,_" Summer walked over to her side, placing her hands on her hips.

"I wish Cohen would get me something like that," Summer giggled, "Coop, you're so lucky," Marissa frowned at the thought. _How am I lucky?_ Marissa thought, wordlessly. She decided that she would let Summer perceive her as a happy person, not one that was torn inside over her break-up, "Are you going to go in? I mean, if it's _half _as gorgeous as the outside, honey, I'm moving in with you," Summer laughed lightly, and so did Marissa.

"This place is absolutely fantastic," Marissa said, taken aback. However, she led the way into the house with such intrepid valor, disregarding Derek, and the wrath he brought in her life.

"Yeah, I agree," Summer called out from behind her. Marissa searched in her purse for the single key, that would open this place up to her. She finally pulled it out, placing it in curiously. As she slid the key in, and pushed the door ever so lightly, a whole new world of absolutely beauty was unraveled to her.

"Oh my God," Marissa said, her breaths short and detached, for the excitement that grew inside of her.

"Oh my God," Summer said, shortly after, as their eyes fixed on the insides of the house. They stood in awe, looking around the gorgeous white inside, with the most stunning furniture and features, "God, Coop. Are you sure this is _your _house?" Summer questioned with a chuckle, "Because _this _is absolutely _gorgeous," _She squealed excitedly, as she made a full, solemn turn, continuously gawping at every inch of the house, "Do you know that half of Newport would kill you, if they saw you in this house? My God!" she continued to say disbelieving, with a proud smile etched on her face, "But honestly, I would not rather see anyone else but you living here. You deserve it, honey," she smiled, her voice almost echoing through the tall corridor leading to the kitchen.

"This was supposed to be cozy," Marissa smirked, "Usually, I thought cozy meant something relatively small- not something so, _wow._" Marissa said, not able to regain her normal state of breath. Her heart was beating, as her eyes relished every scenic detail of the house, "I think he's going to miss this," she giggled lightly, as she walked over to Summer's side, "Did I tell you? This is what _I _got from the relationship," she chuckled, "It's an offer he _couldn't _refuse," she said with a smile, "God, this is going to take a week to explore,"

"Coop, I'm going to be like, _living here, _you _are _aware of that, right?"

Marissa beamed, "Sure, I'm going to get lonely in this place on my own!" she said, "Alright, so how about this for today's plan. I look around this place for a while, then I unpack a bit, and then we head for dinner at your place?"

"Sounds about right to me," Summer said, as she continued to study the house. After a moment of silence, Summer turned to Marissa, "Coop, you gotta talk to Ryan. Promise me you will, okay? I don't expect you to be all, _I love you _after your first dinner- but how does second or third sound? It absolutely breaks my heart seeing you two. I remember, you used to absolutely radiate, you used to _shine. _That was because you had something no one else did- you had something _so _indescribably special. I really want you to have that again. I want your smile to look like it did at Harbour- I want you and Ryan to _finally _be happy together. You guys have been through so much, it would work, right? Right, Coop?"

Marissa decided not to answer for a moment. Besides, she didn't know what to answer. Of course, ideally, she would fall into Ryan's arms and kiss him for all the years' worth. Everything would fall back into place, and they would resume from that last goodbye kiss, and forget that there was ever such a space between them. The time apart would only strengthen their love. Marissa was a realist. She knew, that in spite of all the chemistry she and Ryan, almost nothing would reignite that chemistry, that _passion _again. That's what she was afraid of, all along.

"Coop, say something," Summer said with an almost whimper, "I know you're thinking _something. _You've got that thinking face on," Summer muttered. Marissa turned back to her and shrugged.

"I don't know what to say," Marissa said quietly, "Sum, honestly- I'd want it all. I'd want Ryan to hold me in his arms, and tell him how much he loves me, and missed me, and how much I still mean to me. And I'd want it to be like some television show, where there haven't been _any _realistic obstacles, and we were both able to forget all that time has changed. Honestly, Sum- I'd want it, in my mind, I want it. I just don't believe my heart can take the facts- I've changed, he's changed, we won't connect."

"How do you know that?" Summer retorted quickly, "From what I see, Ryan is just a more mature guy. He doesn't go punching people, he's very sophisticated, and charming. He's the Ryan you fell for- the Ryan you left behind. He's still got some of that bad boy in his blood, he just shows it differently." Summer smiled reassuringly, "And _sure, _I thought you changed as well, but honestly Coop- I can talk to you, like I talked to you all my life. I don't feel like anything's changed, and I _barely _believe that you've been away for so long," Summer smiled, "If you doubt it, you're never going to give it a chance. I know Ryan still cares about you- you clearly care about him, so hey, don't wait up," Summer said, pressing her lips together, "Listen, how about you skip the unpacking today, and I take you around town? I'm sure there are a lot of places that you'd _love _to see again- so many memories," Summer said excitedly, as she looked at Marissa, "Promise me you'll think about all this, okay? Not the looking around part, the more life-changing part," Summer smiled, "Anyway, so it's a plan?"

"It's a plan," Marissa smiled, following Summer out of the cozy, little cottage.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter Ten

"Oh God, I feel like I'm in high school again!" Marissa whimpered, looking at her feminine contours in Summer's mirror. She borrowed a little dress from Summer- all of her clothes were still packed up in her two pieces of luggage, "How do I look, Sum?" she said, fidgeting with her watch as she gazed down, "He's going to be here in ten minutes," Marissa said feverishly, awaiting a reply from the very calm, and serene Summer.

For the longest time, Summer had been working on Marissa's hair. Her full concentration was being devoted to make her look like she did on every cover, for her old flame. With one last sprits of hair spray, and yet another of perfume, Summer took one step away from Marissa, "And _Voilà, _that is how it's done," Summer grinned with pride, "Coop, you're going to be fine! Just _fine."_

"You know what's funny, though Sum? I'm getting all prettied up, and he doesn't even know I'm here," Marissa said with a tiny, helpless shrug. She tried to seem indifferent, but her expression betrayed it all. Every pore on her fine complexion was screaming Marissa's innermost emotions.

"Well, do you want me to call him? Tell him to get all prettied up too?" Summer smiled, placing a comfortable hand on her shoulder, "Coop, let's go downstairs- you can help me finish up with dinner." She smiled encouragingly, as she started to walk out of her bedroom, "Seth! Come over here- let me know what you think," he and Summer gathered at the bottom of the steps, as they waited for Marissa to come down, with her poised step.

Within a matter of moments, Marissa appeared at the top of the staircase, Summer's little black dress hugging her body. Her hair was left hanging loosely against her shoulders, with the most natural-looking curls. Her make-up was gentle, yet profound, "Wow, _he's _going to go crazy over you," Seth chuckled, as Marissa walked all the way down.

"I think so too," Summer said, pressing her lips together, "You look absolutely gorgeous," Before Summer could say anything else, the doorbell rung violently. Summer walked over to the door, with a quick and refined step. She sent a comforting glance over to Marissa, as she swung the door open, "Hey Ryan-" her jaw nearly dropped, "_And _Hayley…" her voice trailed off lightly, as she looked at the two uneasily. Summer sighed- _Okay, we're just going to have to work around that then. _"Wow, Ryan I never knew you were bringing Hayley along," Summer plastered a smile on her face, "Well that's okay, can't send her home now," Summer laughed lightly, "Come on in- Ryan, I've got a little surprise for you," she smiled, opening the door to its full extent. Marissa smiled, recognizing her cue as she walked closer to the door, alongside Seth.

"Marissa?" Ryan said disbelievingly, as he walked over to her, locking her in his arms.

Her smile was radiant, "Ryan," she said in an almost whisper. The comfort she felt in his arms was inexplicable. The emptiness she felt once he let go, was unnerving. She continued to smile, nevertheless, "Hi I'm Marissa Cooper- I'm pleased to meet you," Marissa said, extending her arm toward the girl at Ryan's side. She had an almost searing expression on her face, but Marissa continued to smile- a smile so golden, that she hadn't felt before.

"Wow, Marissa Cooper," her face lightened, "You're the last person I thought I'd ever meet," she smiled, "I'm Hayley Chrisanthis," she said, shaking Marissa's hand. As soon as she was done, she slid her hand into Ryan's, holding it endearingly, as she cuddled into his shoulder.

"Seth, Sum- I hope it's not a problem that I brought Hayles," he said, a look of apology powdering his face tenderly.

"Oh come on," Summer said with a grin. _Uh, yeah it is a problem! _Summer thought, glancing at Marissa occasionally, "It's not a problem at all," Summer squeezed the words out of her, "Anyway, everyone come over to the dining room. Marissa and I will do some last-minute touches on dinner," Summer said eagerly, taking Marissa's hand as she literally dragged her to the kitchen. She then started to whisper with frustration, "I swear I didn't know this would happen," Summer apologized, "I'm so sorry Coop, you got all gorgeous, and then he brings that little whore," Summer said, grabbing some of the food, "Listen, be charming, be beautiful- be you- and you'll see, Hayley's going to be trash by tomorrow," Summer said, shooing Marissa off with a decorative plate of hors d'oeuvres. She set them on the table, before she disappeared into the kitchen again.

"Summer don't worry," Marissa said with a mild frown, "I kind of expected it anyway," she said quietly, bringing out another plate toward the table, before shuffling back into the kitchen.

"You did?" Summer hissed, "Even _I _didn't expect this Coop, and I've seen him _last week,_" she muttered, "Come on," Summer said, walking with her quick step towards the dining room. She ushered Marissa toward the table, "Well, you sure have done your share of work around here today," Summer smiled, "So guys, what do you want to drink? Seth, you can come help me in the kitchen," Summer said, with her sweetest smile on her anxious lips.

Seth started to get up, as Ryan spoke, "Uh, what the heck. I'll have a rum and coke, Sum," Ryan said politely, turning over to Hayley.

"I'll just have a black coffee- I still have tonight's shift to do, I might as well be good to go," she smiled.

"A coffee, and a rum and coke are on their way," Summer said, as Seth followed her closely from behind, "Cohen, we have _got _to do something," Summer said worriedly, in her constant, mystifying whisper.

"Relax, little lady. She said she has late night shift- we'll make Ryan stay, she'll go, Ryan and Marissa will talk like they've never talked before,"

"And how will she get there?" Summer muttered hoarsely, shaking her head, "That's not going to work," she bit her lip carefully, with a helpless shrug, "How about you drive her to work, because you need to grab some milk _anyway, _or something? Alright?" Summer asked coolly, turning the water on to boil, "Now make Ryan a good drink- make Coop one too, they need some loosening up," Summer sighed heavily. Somehow, she took all the fault on her shoulders. The weight was unbearable, as she scurried around the kitchen trying to render things perfect, even though they were already broken.

While Summer and Seth walked around the kitchen clumsily, an awkward silence seemed to fill the room. Hayley decided to burst the quiet, as she spoke, "So, what brings you to Newport Miss Cooper?" she asked politely, striking Marissa from behind, as she looked up speechlessly.

"Oh, um," she stammered, "Well, it's a long story, but I guess I missed this place," Marissa said with a gentle smile, "Oh, and please- call me Marissa," she said, trying hard not to let her emotions overwhelm her. Every glance she stole at the _happy couple, _she felt her insides writhing with a certain inexplicable emotion, one that she could neither control nor abate. She stared at the petite, blonde dynamo as her insides started to lace.

"Oh, how sweet," she said. Something about that smile of hers, made Marissa cringe. Something about the way she hung from Ryan's arm, made Marissa absolutely sick. The usually composed, and very proper lady, was now writhing with every simple motion of that woman. Hayley glanced at Ryan, "So, Marissa. How _do _you and Ryan know each other?" she inquired patiently, trying to feed the conversation.

Marissa smiled ineptly, "Well, Ryan can answer that one," Marissa chortled once, "Seth, do you have that drink there or something?" Marissa said, feeling the dryness of her mouth.

Ryan glanced at Hayley uncomfortably, and back at Marissa with an almost pleading stare. He didn't know what to say. He didn't want to seem completely indifferent- the moment he saw Marissa Cooper again, he didn't know _what _he felt, but it was definitely _something. _He also couldn't exaggerate the facts- what if she didn't feel the same way? She certainly didn't sound like it mattered much. He frowned carefully, making sure to choose his words correctly, "Well, Marissa was my girlfriend," he avoided Hayley's steaming stare, that almost pressured him to speak further. Marissa gawked at Ryan, shocked at his utter outwardness. She half-expected him to say they were just friends all along, or something of the sort.

"Girlfriend, _hm?_" Hayley smiled, "Yeah, Seth- how about that drink?" she continued with her powerful grin. Seth appeared into the dining room, with Marissa's drink, and Hayley's coffee. Summer quickly appeared after him, with Ryan's drink.

"So, what are you guys talking about?" Summer said giddily, as she sat down. Ryan shot her a glance, begging for some help on the topic.

"Oh nothing too interesting- just how Ryan and Marissa knew each other, that's all," Hayley stifled a laugh, "Always the best conversation starter,"

Seth smiled, "Oh, so you _know _that they were the hottest couple at Harbour?" Ryan's expression almost burned Seth at the stake, "Oh, oh, guess not," he said with a smile, "Oh, these drinks really do come in handy," he said, indulging in the momentary silence. Summer barely knew what to say. All she did was smile- by the end of the night, the way things were going, Ryan and Hayley would be over. Not that she was rejoicing or anything- she just wanted the _right _people, to be together.

"Everyone, come on- dig in. The foods out, and no one's eating," Summer frowned, as she passed around the platters of various foods. Within a moment, there was no room for discussion, as everyone was chomping down on Summer's delicacies.

"Mmm, Summer this is excellent," Marissa said, halfway through her meal. She savoured the food in her mouth, taking it in slowly.

"Why thank you, Coop," Summer smiled, as she herself, started to eat.

After a moment's worth of unbearable silence, Seth started, "Did you guys hearthe one about the priest, the king, and the pirate?" Everyone around the table cackled, and groaned, "I'm guessing by that, you've heard it?" Seth slapped his thigh, "Damn," he muttered, as he continued to eat, swinging his index finger into the air, "But don't worry, I will think of another one." He said slowly, taking a sip of his drink.

Marissa smiled endearingly, as she looked around the table, "God, I haven't seen you guys in so long," Marissa said quietly, with almost disbelief.

"We've seen _you, _everywhere," Ryan chuckled, "But hey, pictures can't actually compare to the real thing. When'd you arrive?"

Marissa blushed lightly, "Just today- it's been a long day," Marissa said with a sigh, "But there's nowhere else I'd love to be more," Marissa said, looking around, "So Summer, what'd you do with the kids? Where'd they go?"

"Oh, I sent them to their babysitters, so we can have a nice, _quiet_ evening in," Summer laughed lightly, "I kind of thought this evening would be full of memories, and everything-"

"Aw, am I kind of the odd one out?" Hayley bit her lip uncomfortably.

"No, _no, _are you _kidding?_" Summer said with a heartwarming smile, a giggle, "There's tons to remember, but first, we should all get to know each other." Summer nodded. She could barely believe how much bull shit was exiting her mouth, "Well, I sure think it's time for a toast- To new friendships, new welcomes, and to all of us here." Summer held up her glass, as she smiled around the table. Everyone chimed in, as they took sips from their drinks.

"Well then, now that we've had a toast, I think Ryan and I should start going," Hayley started to get out of her seat, as she threw Ryan a glance, "I'd love to stay, I really would, but work is just _always _in the way," she apologized coolly, as she swung her purse over her shoulder.

"Going home already?" Summer said with a frown, as she too, got up, "Well there's no need for both of you to go," Summer said suggestively, "Seth has to go the store to pick up some milk anyway, so he can just drop you off. I mean, we haven't seen Ryan in quite a bit- we all need catch up," Summer's frown turned into a gleaming smile, "Is that alright with the both of you?"

Hayley shrugged, and nodded on her behalf, as she looked over at Ryan, "Well it sounds good to me- unless Ryan has any objections," Ryan shook his head.

"Well then _good, _good!" Summer half-chuckled, as she walked with Hayley, and Seth to the door, "Oh, Hayley. Feel free to come over whenever you want to- you're always welcome in this house," Summer's voice was racing, as though she were simply throwing her out- unintentionally.

"Is there something I'm missing?" she questioned quickly, staring at Summer awkwardly, "It's like you're trying to get rid of me, or something," she raised an eyebrow in confusion.

Summer smiled, "God _no!" _she replied, her voice slowing down to mask the disguise further, "I just wouldn't want you to be late because of me and my _chattering," _Summer pouted, "How could you think I was trying to get rid of you?"

"Oh I don't know- nevermind," she grinned a wide grin for a farewell, as she headed out with Seth. Summer decided she wouldn't quite ponder on Hayley's insecurities, even though she was actually quite curious, and even a bit frayed- she didn't want it to be obvious that Hayley was really like the third-wheel. She didn't want to exactly _push _her out of Ryan's life, but a tiny step in the direction wouldn't hurt anyone. She walked back over to the dining room, seeing that Ryan and Marissa were engaging in a friendly conversation.

"Can I get anything else to drink? Maybe something that takes a while to prepare?" Summer smiled in Marissa's direction, "No, nothing? Alright, well I'll think of something. I'll be in the kitchen if you need me,"

After Summer left, Ryan and Marissa erupted with laughter, "She hasn't acted _this _weird in a while- At least I haven't seen her act this way in a while. The last time she's been like this, was during the time of her wedding," Ryan recalled, taking a sip of his drink.

Marissa shook her head with a sigh, "Sometimes I wonder for that-" Marissa was about to say, _girl. _She wondered about that _girl. _But then she realized, that a girl was who she left behind- now, her best friend was a mother, a wife, a _woman, _"Sometimes I wonder for that woman," Marissa repeated, finishing her thought confidently, "I can't believe I missed out on so much," Marissa shook her head, as she thought about it.

"You didn't really miss out, Marissa- While we were here, stuck in Newport, you were traveling the world, meeting new people, doing what you love," Ryan tried to comfort her. Marissa looked up at him with a smile, remembering that same soothing voice- the voice that had led her through so many of her problems, and guided her out of them, "What, why are you smiling?" Ryan chuckled.

Marissa continued to smile, as she shrugged lightly, "You guys haven't changed one bit," she said with a nod, "All these years, I was afraid to rekindle our friendships because I thought you were all so different, so mature, so adult-like. Meanwhile, nothing's changed, and all this time has gone by,"

"Well, stuff like that happens," Ryan said, unable to explain it either, "So, Marissa. Are you staying? For _good? _" Ryan asked abruptly, looking up at her hopefully.

She smiled with a nod, "Yeah, I'd like to think so," she exhaled heavily, "But honestly, I don't know where I'm going, or even what I'm doing here," she shrugged, her shoulders burdened, Derek flashing through her mind. She stifled a troubled laugh, "I don't know anything anymore. In New York everything seemed to be so ordered, and I knew where I was going with my life. Until my whole life changed right before my eyes, and then I found myself here. I'm still trying to get used to all this, but I don't really think I'll be able to," Marissa said simply.

"So what brought you here anyway?" Ryan asked gentle.

Marissa laughed again, "That's among the many questions I get asked by people. Why? Because, the relationship I was in, shattered. I mixed pleasure with business, and now I have no business- and even if I chose to go back, I wouldn't. The man I thought I loved, cheated on me in his damned office, and what? What was I supposed to do? Stay there?" She replied bluntly. For some reason, when Ryan was talking to her, all her problems seemed to seep through into the outer world. She felt so vulnerable- and yet so safe. She felt that she could tell him anything, and she did, "But that's okay- I'll live, shit happens," she shrugged, "Well I got to say, Hayley's a nice girl- you guys seem," Marissa tried to speak the words without hesitation, "Great together," she continued. The words pained her, but she didn't want to reveal that the moment she saw him, she felt her heart collapse, and her whole body ache to see him again, touch him again, be with him again.

"Really? You think so?" Ryan smiled, "It means a lot, M'rissa," he grinned that radiant grin of his. She felt a surge of guilt- if she had only meant what she said.

"Yeah, sure," she continued, looking him straight into his eyes.

"How much do you want to bet Summer has about three bags of milk in her fridge?" Ryan chuckled quietly.

"That's probably true," Marissa laughed with him. In that moment, when their laughs were simultaneous, she almost felt a déja-vu of senior year. She could almost feel Ryan's warm embrace, but she made sure to smother the thought, before she got too enthralled with its essence.

"So why are you all dressed up, and gorgeous?" Ryan smiled at her gently.

"You really want to know?" Marissa blushed, slightly embarrassed, "Sum told me you were coming," she replied simply. She raised her glass to her lips, as she took a long gulp of the liquid. She felt its coolness running down her throat- the sweet sensation that it was. Ryan looked stunned for a moment. He didn't know what to say. Her directness seemed to shock him every time. He too, took a long drink.

"You're not kidding?" Ryan said after a moment's worth of silence, as his eyes fed off of her beauty.

Marissa shook her head with a laugh, "Of course I'm kidding!" she chuckled. _Not, _she thought quietly. A wide smile spurted on Ryan's lips- a look of comfort, that lacked the previous moment's awkwardness, "I wanted to look pretty, come on Ryan- I _am _a model," she joked.

"M'riss?" he said gently, which made her look up. His soft, tender voice enveloped her skin with chills, "You wanna take a walk or something? Catch up? I'm sure Summer wouldn't mind," he laughed lightly.

Marissa's jaw dropped a little. She was absolutely clueless as to what to reply. She wanted to scream out yes- and yet she wanted to maintain her cool. She wanted to refuse, for Hayley kept popping into her conscience, "Sure," she said, without thinking, "Sum!" Marissa called a moment afterwards. Summer peeked into the dining room with a curious smile, "You mind if we head out?" Marissa smiled up at her carefully, so that her gaze wouldn't completely show her excitement.

"Aw, and I still wanted to talk!" Summer frowned, "You know what?" she said, looking over at the two with a strange expression, "I can talk to you two whenever- so go, before I start making your drinks," she chuckled.

Marissa smiled, "Goodnight Sum,"


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter Eleven

"Seth, can I ask you a question?" Hayley turned to Seth from the passenger's seat, as she looked over at him inquisitively. Her face seemed perplexed, and hurt.

"Didn't give me much of a choice there," Seth smiled, trying to snake a lighter tone into the conversation.

She cracked a smile, but she continued with that same brutal expression, almost torturing Seth to the bone, "That Marissa girl," she pressed her lips together, not sure if she really wanted to speak about her- she did anyway, "That girl is so much prettier, so much more _everything- _can you honestly tell me that what you're doing with Summer, is fair? You're trying to drive me away right? Just because you're used to the memory of them together?" Seth couldn't stand it- the poor girl was on the verge of tears, as she sat there in utter silence.

"No, no of course not, Hayley," Seth tried to comfort her, but his voice seemed to unravel the secrecy of it all.

She stifled one crisp laugh, "I'm just going to make things easier for you guys then- I always felt like Ryan was really distracted with me. Now I know who he was thinking about all this time- now I _know _that I wasn't his only one, _she was._" She frowned, "You can let me out here, thanks," she said, barely giving him a moment to think about.

"Hayley, _no. _You can't break up with _me,_" Seth told her, as he stopped the car, "You can get out right now, but it won't do you _any _good- you'll just be late for work, and Ryan's going to kick _my _ass for doing this. He really cares about you,"

"Oh, he does, doesn't he?" a tinge of sarcasm eating away at her voice, "Don't bull shit me," she shook her head with a smile, "The moment I walked in with Ryan, I saw that expression on your face, on Summer's face, even on Ryan's face- and then I saw that girl, and _everything _made sense. Finally, _everything _does." She sighed, "And I _want _to walk, I need to clear my mind,"

"Hayley, do you have some sick idea that I'm going to tell Ryan that you broke up with him? Because _I _don't think so- if you're so intent on breaking up, you're going to have to do it on your own, I'm not doing it for you," She shook her head, as she got out of the car, "You're telling him!" Seth called out after her, as he made a turn, back home.

Meanwhile, underneath the glistening stars, and the magnificent royal blue sky, Marissa and Ryan sauntered over to the beach. They seated themselves on the golden sand, as they looked out onto the waters, laughing and remembering old memories, and creating new ones, "So Ryan, what do you do now?" Marissa asked curiously.

"Well, I'm the owner of one of Newport's biggest construction companies," Ryan seemed to say with a proud smile, "It pays excellently, and it's a great job- it's what I love to do,"

Marissa nodded with a smile, "Well I'm glad you have your dream future," Marissa sighed, "It's like everything worked out for all of us- Seth and Summer sure look happy, but then again, we all knew they would be together," she laughed lightly.

Ryan nodded, and inhaled the fresh air that enveloped them, "How about you? Where are you going to be living right now?"

She smirked, "Well, my _executive director _ex-fiancé," she paused. The words were difficult for her to say, "He bought this cottage for us- it's along the beach, it absolutely stunning, and it's one thing I loved about our relationship," she laughed lightly, "Every time I look at that house, or try and get used to it, I keep remembering _him. _I don't know how long I'll manage in that place- it seems so tough," she said, on a more serious note, "But what can you do?" she said lightly, "Hey, you wanna go see it? I'm still trying to explore it myself, I wouldn't mind company," she laughed carefully, hoping he wouldn't get the wrong idea.

"Sure," he smiled at her, as they started to get up. For a moment, their fingertips touched. For that same moment, they both seemed to stop dead in their tracks, looking straight into each others' eyes. For that moment, they both felt as though it was absolutely right. Marissa shook her head, relieving her of the trance she had fallen under. She smiled slightly, as she started to walk in silence. Ryan followed her, almost guiltily wondering what just happened. As he walked alongside the gorgeous Cooper girl, he couldn't help but inhale her fine scent, or to just listen to the way she breathed. He kept absolutely hushed, relishing the silence they dwelled in. With soft steps, and rumbling hearts, the two made their way to Marissa's cottage, "Wow, this is yours?" Ryan asked, gaping at the beautiful house that towered over them.

Marissa shrugged and smiled, "This is it," she said, fumbling with her keys for a moment, before they teetered in, "I'd like to think it's more comfortable in here, than it is out there," she smiled gently.

"Oh it is," Ryan laughed, as he looked around the place, nodding his head as though pleased, "Great, so um, where are we going?"

Marissa bit her lip, "Good question," she said looking around, "I honestly don't know where anything is," she paused to think, placing her hands on her hips, "How about we try the entertainment room- from what I _know _there's a television in there, and if our conversation gets boring or something, we can just turn it on," she laughed, "Deal?"

"Sounds good to me," Ryan smiled gently, following Marissa into the room. A soothing olive green colour splashed the walls, as the both collapsed onto the couch with a fair distance between them.

"I'm sorry, I don't really have anything to offer you- I just got here today, and it's been a long enough day," Marissa said with a heavy sigh, "If you get hungry, there's no reason why we don't just go over to some little restaurant thing later on tonight- that's of course if you're able to be seen with me," Marissa chuckled.

Ryan smiled, patting his stomach roughly, "Summer did a great job with dinner- I don't think I'll be able to eat for another week," he joked, as he stared at an open box, with a stack of Marissa's front-page magazines inside. One seemed to particularly stand out. Marissa met his gaze, looking at the uppermost magazine- the _interview. _She quickly walked over to the box, shoving it aside with a nervous glance.

"Tell me you didn't read that interview," Marissa's breath stopped for a moment, as she gazed at him nervously. Why had she been so blunt with her confessions? Why hadn't she kept that inch of privacy inside of her? Why did she have to mention the name of her past love? Ryan seemed to look away uncomfortably- of course he'd read it. Seth and Summer showed it to him. He even guiltily remembered the issue he had bought for himself. He looked up at her, and gave her a half-nod. Marissa fell back down onto the couch, wondering what she could say. She quickly reached for the remote, turning the television on. Ryan retrieved the remote from her, and clicked it back off, which stirred confusion within Marissa.

"We can't just keep denying everything- we can't keep pretending it didn't happen," Ryan said quietly, "We _were _together," he said outwardly, "And unless we regain that mutual feeling, we're _just _friends."

Marissa nodded in understanding. Besides, he had a girlfriend now. She gauged her mind for new topics, but she found she didn't have to- Ryan's cell phone echoed throughout the house, "Sorry, I'll just- yeah, er, take this," he said, getting up from the couch, as he walked into a more private corner. Even there, Marissa could here his faint voice, "Uh, Seth what's the matter? You seem kind of-"

"Never mind me!" Seth said in an almost panicked voice. He was terribly nervous about Ryan's reaction, "Listen, call Hayley- I don't think she's too happy with me, or _you _for that matter."

"What do you mean? What are you talking about?" Ryan questioned quickly.

"Call _Hayley,_" Seth said, before hanging up the phone coldly. Ryan stared down at his phone blankly. He wondered what was going on.

Marissa continued to wander through her mind for a moment. She hungered to find out why things were as is between her and Ryan. She yearned to find out why she felt the way she did, and why she felt this stinging sensation running through her body when Ryan said they were to be _just friends. _Ryan entered the room, with the cell phone in his hands, "What's the matter?" Marissa asked, as she looked up at him, genuine concern on her face.

"From what I imagine, I think Hayley's a bit upset with me," Ryan said, fumbling with his hands, "But hey, we're not going to talk about her,"

"We're friends right?" Marissa forced it out of her. Ryan looked up at her questioningly, nodding curiously, "Well then I want to be able to talk to you about _anything- _about your girlfriend, about your job, about you- about _anything,_" Marissa said softly, looking deep into his eyes, a passage toward his soul. She felt the trouble within him.

"Okay," Ryan said simply, gathering his thoughts carefully, "Okay," he repeated, uncertainty still powdering his voice, "Well I think Hayley's a bit intimidated by you," he said, avoiding her stare, "I think she's upset with Seth and Summer for trying to you know, set us up. And she's upset with me, just because she's intimidated by you. She thinks that because we've been together before, and that you're this huge big shot model, that you'll break us up," Marissa felt hurt that Ryan was talking about her so indifferently. He was talking about this relationship, as though it was this incredibly withstanding, and powerful thing. Marissa shook off her own intimate thoughts, so that she could give him her very own, unbiased view.

"Ryan, she obviously knows you care about her- but it's a matter of trust. If she really trusts you, then that should be enough. She shouldn't be threatened by every woman that comes into her life. She's clearly special to you, so make her _feel _special. Maybe she thinks you're not paying attention to her, or giving her your all- I _don't know, _but if you make her feel like you feel about her, then she'll know that nothing can come between you." Marissa gave him a half-smile. She loved how wise and intelligent she sounded. And yet her face turned so frighteningly cold, when she remembered the words, _big shot model. _That's what everyone here thought of her. That's _all _they thought of her.

"Wow, I guess you're right," Ryan said, thinking about her words, "So you're saying I should pay more attention to her?"

"Hey, I said my share- don't make the _big shot model _repeat herself," she said, with a tinge of sarcasm- but enough sarcasm to ignite the idea, that she no longer wanted to discuss Ryan's girlfriend.

"Gotcha," Ryan said, looking over at her, "You've really changed, Marissa," he commented with much thought and intrigue, gazing at her. Thoughts were propelling inside of his mind, "You're more of a mature, and intricate person- I would have never imagined you to be this way, not from the magazines anyway," Ryan said, "I'm sorry- I guess for judging you because you're a model. I kind of always imagined that you were some pompous, stuck up, little thing and I never actually took the time to remember that you're always going to be _just _Marissa Cooper- nothing else," Ryan apologized meekly. A smile sprouted on Marissa face- a smile full of gratitude and thanks, "I take it by that grin, everything's cool?"

"Yeah, everything's cool," she smiled, thinking for a moment, "_But _I must say, if you ever, _ever _call me a _big shot model _again, then I might have to think about that," she said with a sneer.

Ryan chuckled, "Iwon't everagain- promise,"

Marissa continued to beam, "Well, then I must proceed to say that I think that you've changed too. I _think _because I've only been here a day, and I haven't actually _seen _you punch a guy out or anything recently," she laughed gently, "But no, I'm kidding. You seem like a more put together, and well-rounded kind of guy. Hayley has really had an effect on you, huh," she said the last part of her speech, through gritted teeth, but still with that gorgeous, glistening smile.

"I guess so," Ryan said, with hesitation. He didn't know _what _was going on in his overpowering mind, but before he could protest, his lips were against hers in the most soft, and gentle of kisses. He quickly pulled away, his mind thundering tremendously. Marissa simply sat there, her jaw dropped- she was completely awe-stricken.

"Ry-" she whisper, gulping down the lump that had lodged in her throat. She pressed her lips together, her breaths short and detached, as her heart raced faster than she could distinguish.

"I better go," he cut her off, before she could continue. He started to get up, stealing a glance at the lanky brunette. Marissa got up with him, leading him toward the door. Before he disappeared into the late darkness, Marissa caught his arm.

"Listen," she said firmly, trying to force peace into her voice, "We are _just _friends," Marissa nodded, trying hard to keep the situation under control, "It meant _nothing,_" she spoke slowly, trying to believe the words herself. As hard as she attempted to keep her face from distorting in anxiety, her quivering voice, and tragic spark in her eyes betrayed it all.

Ryan was just about to speak his mind, when his cell phone rang again. He threw Marissa and apologetic glance, "Gotta take this," he said, giving her an impatient nod, "Oh, Hayles, _hi!_"

Ryan heard her soft voice on the other line, turning his back toward Marissa, "I thought you'd call sooner- I don't know, maybe to see if I got to work or something like that. Nevermind that-"

"Hey, I know how much your boss hates private calls at work- I'm sorry, I would have called,"

"You would have, had you been _alone. _But because you were with that chick, I guess it must have slipped your mind," Hayley said cruelly.

"Hayles-"

"Don't you _lie _to me," Hayley erupted fiercely, "Don't _you _lie to _me,_" she repeated even more brusquely, "There's something about your voice- there is no way you can lie to me now, I know you too well,"

"Hayles, I wasn't going to lie to you. She's a friend- we hung out," Ryan said on his defense. Technically, he _wasn't _lying. He _was _hanging out- he decided, however, that he wouldn't mention the innocent bringer of doom.

"Something happened, didn't it," she said, her voice accusatory and vile. Ryan shook his head vigorously, but he realized she couldn't see him. Before he could reply, she continued, "Ryan, I want to know," Ryan could here her voice absolutely attacked by tears, "I _need _to know- what do you feel for this girl?"

Ryan turned around violently, throwing a strange regard toward Marissa. He looked into her hopeful eyes, and he knew he could not deny it further. He knew that although he couldn't exactly figure out what he felt toward her, it was definitely _something, _"I, I don't know," Ryan muttered as honestly as he could muster. He knew that with every word he spoke, she just cried harder even though she tried with all her might to hide her pouring emotions.

"I can't do this," Hayley whimpered. Ryan kept absolutely silent. It was inevitable. He had to be true- to Hayley, and to himself. He couldn't lead her on any longer. He couldn't just _pretend _anymore. He couldn't deny that feeling that stirred inside of him, the very moment he laid eyes upon Marissa after so long.

"Okay," Ryan said accordingly. He felt awful, but he didn't feel that same pain he felt when Marissa was leaving. He didn't feel the sorrow, the fear as to how he would survive, or the broken heart. When Marissa was leaving, he could have sworn he felt his heart shattering- he could have felt his whole body weakening at the mere thought of her at New York.

"Okay?" Hayley asked. Ryan imagined that she expected some gruesome break-up. She was probably hoping for Ryan to beg for her love, to swell her ego. He was not about to do that. He wasn't going to pursue something that he could live without. Hayley didn't offer that fresh breath in his lungs, that reason for that extra heartbeat, that _feeling._

"Okay," Ryan said again, "I can't do this to you anymore. I thought I'd gotten over this girl, but I don't think I could ever, you know, get over her," Ryan looked at Marissa silently, swallowing hard, as their gazes locked, "I care about you, I like you- I _love _her._" _Ryan said, looking at her nervously, wondering whether she would reciprocate his feeling, "I'm sorry," Ryan said, lowering his phone to his palm, before he clicked it off, continuously staring at Marissa.

"Marissa," Ryan said gently.

"Yeah?" Marissa asked every emotion imaginable filling her insides.

"I love you."


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter Twelve

_Big Shot Model Got Over NYC Fiancé Pretty Quick _– Marissa read silently the next day, barely believing the words. She continued to read. She was absolutely shocked- who could dare write such monstrosities? Summer, Seth and Ryan circled her, all remaining absolutely placid. As much as they wanted to reach out to the beautiful brunette, they felt it would be much easier for her to read the article herself.

Marissa continued to read: _Sources say, that after leaving her hometown, super-model Marissa Cooper had invaded her fiancé's cottage- one that he bought for the prosperous couple. Not only had she taken over the beautiful, beachfront villa/cottage, she was allegedly seen canoodling with an old flame- which happens to be the hot talk of her latest interview in Vogue, Ryan Atwood. _

_After her fiancé was approached he says, "I can't believe it." Derek Loray says, "I thought it would be difficult enough seeing her living alone in the cottage I bought for us. Now I see this? This is shocking- absolutely disgraceful. She's been in our Newport Cottage for what- two days?" _

_The Director of this fashionista's modeling agency, is clearly distraught by this Super Sandwich Scandal. The happy couple was to get married soon._

"_Everything was going perfectly- so I thought. Then a couple of days ago, she disappeared to Newport and I couldn't reach her since. Now I know why," Derek Loray says. _

"I cannot believe that _rat,_" Marissa squealed, slamming the magazine down on the ground, "Summer, I need your phone," she said, her cheeks burning, her eyes flaring. Right on the cover of the magazine, was Marissa Cooper- looking far from her best. Her lips were locked with Ryan's, as their goodbye kiss last night. Marissa knew it could only be _one _person- Derek, and if not him, it would certainly be someone he hired.

Summer tossed Marissa her phone. The fiery model dialed her agency's phone number as quickly as she could, "Keely? Give me Derek, _right now._" Marissa said, her voice furious.

"_Oh my God,_" Keely nearly sobbed, "I was going to call you and tell you Derek had an agent on you- but I didn't know where, I'm so _sorry _honey,"

"He had an _agent _on me?" Marissa questioned disbelievingly, "Give me _Derek,_" she said, her voice even more cold than before.

"Marissa, he's not in right now. He left early this morning, but I'll direct the call to his cell phone. Our systems have gotten really snazzy and high-tec; I can do that now. Do you want me to link you to his cell phone?"

"I just need to talk to him- do _whatever,_" Marissa waited about a moment too long, and when Derek finally picked up his cell phone, his ear drums rang from Marissa's shrieking voice, "How _dare _you? First you cheat on me, and then you get an agent on me as if _I _was the one to blame for all this? How could you do this to me?" Marissa was slowly breaking down, with the silence that Derek drew.

"Oh, pleasure to talk to you too, pookie," he said, his voice cheery and dry at the same time, "Listen Marissa, I didn't know where to reach you, and I kind of wanted my cottage back, so I guess it was the only way. Unless you plan to cough up five mill, the cottage is mine, thanks. As for the article- honey, any publicity is good publicity."

"You have _ruined _me, absolutely _ruined me. _You've just made me look like some petty, little whore in front of _everyone_. They're all going to think that _I _cheated on someone _so _successful, and so loving- while _that's _not the story at all. You better get that agent off my ass, or you won't be getting an inch of the house back- unless you get the house with a nice law suit in the mail," Marissa hung up, trying to calm herself- trying to relieve herself of her raging emotions, "Oh my God, I can't believe this," she buried her head in her hands, as she started to sniffle.

Last night was so magical, so beautiful. Why did Derek have to come up with something like this? Why did he have to destroy everything that was good in her life?

Ryan squatted down in front of her, taking her hands in his. Marissa looked into his eyes, pressing her lips together, "I don't want people to think I'm a _monster. _I don't want people to think _you're _a monster too," Marissa whimpered gently, "It's all my fault- I should have known he was capable of something like this,"

"Who could have known? M'riss, this is the guy that you've come to love for so long. You've never seen this side of him before- you could've never imagined he was capable of cheating, and doing such things, _never. _You could only see his good assets. Now listen, the tabloids are going to eat you alive if you _let_ them. You're not doing anything wrong- and neither am I," Ryan said, his voice soothing and considerate. Ryan locked his arms around her, clutching her in a tight embrace, "If this is America's next _one hit wonder, _so be it. People will finally see the truly _in love _Marissa Cooper- and I must say, she's even more gorgeous than that New York City girl,"

"I thought if I quit, I would just become _unknown,_"

"Well you will become _unknown _if you don't do anything too drama-queen-esque in the next couple of years," Ryan smiled at her gently, kissing her forehead ever so lightly, "M'riss, if you don't give them anything to talk about, they'll get bored- and all they'll write is, _The once Scandolous Beauty, is now normal- nothing to talk about here._ And even so, you couldn't possibly ever be normal, Marissa,"

Marissa looked over at him, a tiny smile creeping on her face, "You're the only person in the world that can make me smile," she said, looking over at Summer and Seth, "So guys, _mission complete._" She laughed gently, "You've got _us _together,"

"Isn't it wonderful? Doesn't it feel smashing?" Seth said joyfully, his face nearly bubbling with excitement, "_However, _we still have to do something about this smart cookie, Derek. M'riss, I don't know if you've heard, but Sandy Cohen happens to be one of America's most trusted lawyers- maybe you should consider?" Seth boasted humbly.

"You guys actually think I should sue?" Marissa asked unsurely, "I don't know- I mean, I _did _kind of take over our cottage, but I don't know," her voice trailed off, hoping to hear something constructive.

"Well, he _did _have an agent on you, without consent. This agent took photos of you, which were later on published, again, without your consent," Summer said, trying to think things through rationally, "But I mean, stars get candids in the magazines all the time- Coop, I think you should at least try, I mean, it's totally not fair for America to think of you as some whorebag slut."

"_Unless,_" Marissa smiled gently, "You don't think he'd be smart enough to lay off his chick for a while, do you?" All of them looked at Marissa curiously, "Well, what if I played the same game? He would look _just as _bad, if I caught a nice pose of him and his girl! I could get Keely to- guys, it's perfect. He's an asshole, and he underestimates me- he thinks that I'm just going to wallow in my own self-pity for a while. If I could get Keely _and _an agent- wouldn't that be perfect?"

"I don't know, Coop- you're kind of sinking down to his level," Summer said, biting her lip.

"Well what am I supposed to do? Let him win? Everyone thinks that I just left, and cheated on him, when that's he biggest lie I've ever heard. _He _cheated on _me, _and I need to prove that." Marissa got up, grabbing her purse, "With me or not, I need to make a few calls. Plan B will be to concur with Sandy,"

"Coop, maybe you should do that first- see if what you're doing is legal and stuff?" Summer suggested.

"If Derek could do it, I can too," Marissa said, leaving the Cohen residence swiftly, with a plan bubbling in her mind.

After a moment of contemplation, Seth spoke, "She's going to do something stupid- I'll go call my dad," Seth said quickly.

"While he's doing that, I'm going to go with her- you know, make sure she doesn't do anything stupid," Ryan said, darting toward the door. He quickly caught up with Marissa, just before she got into her car, "Wherever you're going, I'm coming with you," Ryan said with a soft smile.

"And why would you do that?" Marissa questioned lightly, raising an eyebrow with a grin, "I'm a big girl- I can take care of myself now,"

"Well I kind of like being your _protector,_" Ryan grinned at her lightly, "Besides, I haven't done it in a while, and I kind of missed it," he smiled, walking over to Marissa, snaking his arms around her waist. With a series of gentle kisses, and giggles, Ryan muttered, "I can't believe I lost you for so long,"

Marissa eased into the kiss, wrapping her arms around his neck, "Ryan, er, maybe we shouldn't," she whispered quietly, pulling away from the kiss very gently, "I mean, I don't want-"

"Oh, right, I understand," Ryan pulled away rather awkwardly, "So what's your next move? How are you – I mean, _we – _going to work around this?" Ryan asked, looking down at her inquiringly.

Marissa looked away for a moment- in the few minutes that she actually had time to think realistically, she thought very maturely. However, she didn't want Ryan to get the wrong idea, so she chose her words very carefully, "Ryan, I want to be with you," Marissa said, swallowing calmly, "But I want to be _together- _I don't want to be distracted by any Derek's, or Hayley's, or whoever else wants to complicate things. Before we really go steady, I need to make my own ends meet. My first move is going back to New York, and just talking to Derek- we'll talk about the cottage, the agent. I admit, moving here right away might have been a little reluctant and possibly evenimpetuous, but I'm willing to slow things down right now. I think that if I can get through to Derek, I'll be able to finally reach that peace in my life," Marissa paused, studying his expression. It was absolutely blank. She didn't know whether he was angry, or upset, or contemplating something, or not thinking about her at all- his face was as cold, and harsh as it could be, "Please don't tell me you're mad or something- you understand, right?"

"Of course I understand, M'riss. I'm just thinking- Quite frankly, I don't want to face the chance of losing you again."

"What makes you think you'd lose me again? I'm with you now- even the magazines say so," Marissa smiled up at him empathetically.

"I don't know, I mean- you were fooled by him once. Isn't it possible you could be fooled by him again?" He asked.

"Well sure, but I'd be going back for one thing – and that's to settle things, so I could finally be with you," Marissa said gently, "Can you trust me? Like, really- with all your life and all your heart. Can you?" Ryan nodded almost uncertainly, "Oh no, no, no. Do _you _trust _me_? I need to know, otherwise I won't go anywhere and we'll continue being stalked by imbeciles who would do anything to earn a dime."

"I trust you," Ryan said, "But I don't trust him," Ryan added deliberately, "He stole your heart once with his sweet talk, and such. But go, Marissa. Go if you have to. If you think it'll give you that peace and closure in your life, go- go, and take your time,"

"Ryan," Marissa whispered quietly, looking up at him very distinctly, "I want you to settle things with Hayley too- I want her to have the perfect understanding that it's over," she bit her lip.

"We settled things yesterday," Ryan looked down at her, "I don't think she could have interpreted a single word I said- she got the message, Marissa,"

"Ryan, I don't know, but last night was kind of a flash. Everything was happening so fast, things were being said in the spur of the moment, and I don't know,"

"You don't know what? You don't know if you feel for me the way you did last night? Or if you meant some of the things you said last night? What's this all about? Yesterday was perfect- and now, what? Did the magazines make you rethink things? What else am I supposed to tell you?"

"_Nothing, _nothing, Ryan," Marissa replied quickly, "I just want us to be sure- I don't want _anything _coming between us this time. I don't know how I'd survive a second break-up. I'm scared, okay? I'm also scared of losing you- that's why I don't want _anything _to even _potentially _be able to come between us," Marissa pressed her lips together, wondering what he would say next.

"Then go," Ryan said simply, as he turned to leave, "Maybe you also think that what I said to you was in the spur of the moment, right?" he shook his head, "Well look at us- we're not even _officially _together yet, and we're already breaking down. Maybe we should think about all of this. But whatever," Ryan said, "Have fun in New York City," he said gently.

"Ryan," Marissa tugged on his arm, causing him to turn around, "Listen to me," she said crisply, "I don't want this to be over- I want this to be real. I just came out of a relationship, and I'd been deceived. What I _thought _was real, wasn't- I don't want you to hurt me, and I don't want me to hurt me. I want things to go as slow as they can go, so that I can be sure and confident that we're really up to this. Please don't be upset- you have to understand where I'm coming from," Marissa pressed her lips together, giving him a pressing glance, "Fine, I won't go," she said simply, after a second's worth of contemplation, "I won't go," she repeated, staring at his expression curiously. She stifled one laugh, before she said, "I guess you really haven't changed Ryan- you're still that hard to understand, hard to crack open, cynical man that I left behind."

"_I _just came out of a relationship too, if you don't remember," Ryan looked at her brusquely, "I _left _the relationship for you. I really thought I wanted this girl, and it turned out all I wanted was _you. _So don't wonder why I'm skeptical of losing you again. I've changed my life for you _entirely _over and over again- and what? Where's it got me?"

Marissa bit her lip, avoiding his gaze. Her cheeks were flushed, as she slowly started to realize how big-headed she was. Ryan was right- he changed his life in a course of two days for her. She understood that he was tired of adjusting. She didn't know what to say. Even though she wanted the best for the relationship, she had to soothe her selfish necessities, "I won't go," she whispered gently, stealing a glimpse at the handsome, sandy-haired man that stood in front of her, "Ryan, I'm sorry," she said, taking a step closer to him. She looked up at him for a moment, sliding her hands into his, "Ryan," she whispered, causing him to look down at her, "I won't go unless you go with me- we'll settle this, together," Marissa said with a gentle smile, "I guess I never considered how much you've really done for me- and I'm sorry," Marissa said quietly, yearning for a spark of any emotion in his eyes, "Forgive me?" she pouted carefully.

Ryan nodded, "Any day," he looked down at her for a moment, lifting her in his arms. Before she could protest, his lips were pressed against hers in the most harmonious and passionate of kisses, "Marissa Cooper, I love you," Ryan called out, his voice loud and echoing throughout the slur of sidewalks and roads.

Marissa chuckled as she looked down at him, her face radiating a certain warmth as she smiled at him deeply, "I love you too," she called back, in that same vibrant, and wishful manner. Within a moment, their lips were locked once more, their lips mingling in a most gentle, but passionate manner.

"Oh, and here I was thinking that all the tabloids weren't true- don't you hate that certain naivety?" Ryan dropped Marissa, as they both swung around. Ryan stared back at a handsome man of about his age- maybe a little older – getting out of a slick car that was parked a couple of yards away from Seth and Summer's house, "Here I also thought I'd have to comb the city for you, and go knocking on doors to find my little princess,"

Marissa stayed terribly silent. Ryan kept glancing down at her, taking a step in front of her, "Ryan, don't," Marissa muttered. She glared at Derek, as though she were summoning every droplet of anger and hatred so that it could be completely drained from her body after she spoke. Marissa took a confident breath, as she continued to glare at the man, "Ryan, I don't know if you've met Derek yet- but here he is, Derek Loray- the asshole I left in New York,"

"And this must be your little eye candy of the past two days," Derek sighed, eyeing Ryan, "Well listen, just so I don't have to make this longer and harder than it already is, you said something about suing me this morning, so I must say- for the record, what I did was _completely _legal. If you don't recall, you're still on contract with me, babe. Because you didn't in any way break this contract, you kind of set yourself up. It was completely legal for me to have an agent taking photos- because for all you know, it was a photo shoot you didn't go to. And it was even more legal for me to have the photos published, just because it said so in your contract. So regardless of who you get as your little lawyer, each and every one of them will tell you this is a lost cause. _However, _what _you're _doing is not entirely legal considering, you stole my house. I know, I know- you were angry, and you had no where to go. So you had two days to think about it, and _now, _it would be pretty swell if you know, I could get my house back. Deal? Great," Derek smiled pitifully.

"You're not getting the house back," Marissa muttered, her voice unfalteringly smooth.

"Oh yeah? Well it's that same naivety that's going to kill you, Marissa- because I've got my people at the house right now, removing your various items of clothing and luggage and such," he glanced at his watch, "Actually, I think they're done packing you right up- so all you have to do, is tell me where exactly you want the moving truck to take your stuff, and I'll have a cheque paying for the moving company,"

"Why are you doing this to me?"

"Because _you _cheated on _me,_" his eyes were laughing, as though he were enjoying every single bit of the scenario.

"You know that's a lie," Marissa barked back, "I really did love you, and I really thought you were the one,"

"Aw, I'm flattered," Derek smiled at her, "And then when you met this Atwood boy, it all kind of flew out the window, right? Such a shame- I would have given you everything,"

"Stop lying to yourself," Marissa hissed.

"_Stop lying to yourself,_" Derek mimicked in that same tone, "Marissa, for all the world knows- you cheated on me. For all the world knows, I'm the poor, suffering, little angel. I'd like to keep it that way- it's so much more fun," he chortled, "Well, Mr. Atwood, it was a real pleasure meeting you," Derek slapped on a smile, "Marissa, please don't forget about that cheque. And should I just drop off all your things at Mr. Atwood's place? It would just make the whole thing a bunch easier, wouldn't it?" Marissa threw Ryan an apologetic glance, as she pulled out her cell phone.

"Hold on," Marissa told them both, as she walked away from the little circle they had formed. She made sure to have her conversation out of their ear's reach. She quickly called Summer, tapping her foot impatiently as she waiting for her to pick it up, "Hey Sum,"

"Coop? Where are you?"

"I'm in front of your house, with a little guest, but that's not the point. Derek moved me out of the cottage, and I don't know where to go," Marissa hinted suggestively.

"Well that's not a problem- just tell him to get all your stuff over here," Summer grunted, almost laughing at how easily Marissa presented the situation, "Is that the only problem?"

"Well, not quite. Considering I was quote: _Still on contract with him,_ what Derek did was completely legal, so I have no chance at a lawyer here," Marissa sighed heavily, "Alright, well I'll tell him to bring my stuff here. Thank you _so _much Sum,"

"Don't even mention it," Summer said, "Okay, now go whoop some Derek ass, Coop!" Summer said hanging up swiftly.

"Derek, you can just drop my stuff off right here," Marissa said coolly, "I don't want to trouble you Ryan- make it seem like just because there are a ton of _rumours _circling around about us, that you should be obliged to have me stay in your place. I'm just going to stay with Summer and Seth, and look for a place of mine afterwards," Marissa nodded in Derek's direction, "So I hope you're entirely satisfied with yourself right now,"

"Oh, don't worry about it, honey- I _am. _I can just imagine how furious you looked when you were reading that article, and I must say," he lowered his voice, "You look freaking hot when you're furious," he smirked, "Anyway, catch you later," Derek smiled, as he turned around to walk back to his car. Immediately afterwards, Ryan turned to Marissa. He looked concerned as he held her in his embrace.

"M'riss, you could have just stayed with me," Ryan said quietly, "Unless," he paused.

"Unless what, Ryan?" Marissa questioned curiously.

"Unless you're just afraid," Ryan replied, after a moment of contemplation, "Why else would you go live with Seth and Summer, when you _knew _I wouldn't turn you down?"

Marissa laughed bitterly, "I didn't want you to think that just because all this has been going on, you have to _do _everything for me. You don't," Marissa said simply.

"But that's not the only reason you're afraid, and I see it. I see it in your eyes, that you're afraid of something else," Ryan said, studying her eyes deeper.

"What can I possible be afraid of, Ryan Atwood? Please, tell me. Enlighten me, because I honestly have no idea myself," Marissa muttered, her voice starting to shed a few tones of annoyance.

"I don't know- you're afraid to _be _with me? You're afraid of what people will think and say about you? You're just afraid- you _clearly _are," Ryan said rather convincingly, as he stroked her cheek, "I don't want you to be afraid of being together. I know it's really complicated right now, and you're basically sacrificing your reputation, but _please _don't let that stand in your way,"

"You think that my reputation is worth more than _this?_" Marissa was barely believing the accusations that Ryan was throwing out so absent-mindedly, "You know how I feel about you, and _I _know how I feel about you,"

"And that is?"

Marissa smiled ever so gently, looking up into his deep, chocolaty eyes the annoyance of only moments before vanishing with the California breeze, "What do you think?" Ryan heaved a gentle, helpless shrug. Marissa smiled even harder, as she observed him. He looked so cute with all that confusion, and worry. Marissa brought her face a little closer, so that his face was only about an inch away from hers, "Well Ryan, I kind of like you, and I would kind of like to be with you forever and ever," she teased, as she felt his hot breath against her lips, "And I think I might even kind of love you," she said, her face all giddy and warm.

"Well that sure is a relief," Ryan smiled, "I think I might kind of even love you, too," he smiled, slowly closing the gap between their lips, as he kissed her in the most gentle of ways. He straddled her hips with his fingertips, as he pulled her as close as he could manage. Marissa entangled her arms around his neck, feeling that same spark that she used to feel- that she yearned to feel all these years of separation. As much as she believed she loved Derek, never had she collected that same feeling with a simple kiss, or gesture.

"Ryan," Marissa pulled away lightly, "I know I've been acting a little bitchy lately, and I know I don't have a single excuse for it- but I hope you can kind of forget about that. I'm burdened with all these problems, not to mention scared of getting hurt again, nervous and all that junk. But I'm happy- I'm _finally _happy," Marissa's lips curled in the most genuine of smiles, "So if I sound a little out-of-it, just tell me to knock it off. You know how I feel about you, and I just don't want my moods to jeopardize any of this,"

Ryan just kissed her forehead, a gesture that was both understanding and comforting. From this, Marissa derived that Ryan comprehended and even valued her fragile emotions. Marissa smiled up at him, wrapping her arms around him tighter, as she pulled him in for the gentlest of hugs. It seemed to seal their bond wordlessly. Ryan was absolutely sure that he couldn't live without this girl. A wave of regret washed over him, as he realized how long it took for him to get this girl back into his arms. He smothered the thought, before he pondered it for long. He had her now, and it was all that mattered.


	13. Chapter 13

_I'm terribly sorry for the long wait, everybody. I hope you enjoy this chapter. I will further continue on with the "date" on Chapter Fourteen. Please don't forget to leave a comment. I hope you enjoy, and I'll do my best to write up Chapter Fourteen in the knick of time. Thanks again for all the support!_

**Chapter Thirteen**

"Wow, it's the second time I'm moving in what- two days?" Marissa said, as she brought in her suitcase, with Ryan following shortly behind her. Never had she looked at Summer's house this way as she entered it- maybe because this time, it was to act as her home, and not just the house of her best friend. Marissa turned over to Ryan, who was carrying her second piece of luggage, and carry-on bag, "Well, I think that's the last of Derek," Marissa heaved a great sigh, as she placed her luggage on the floor, leaning it against the cream-coloured wall.

"I'd like to think so," Ryan smiled down at her carefully, as he followed her lead, "Hey, are you busy today?" Ryan asked curiously, "I know you still have a lot to do, and take care of, but I was thinking-" he paused.

Marissa grinned, "What were you thinking- tell me," she chuckled gently, as she gazed at him.

"Well, I was thinking," he paused again, trying to preserve the mystery of it all, "Maybe we could rent a boat or something, and take a ride on the waters for the afternoon- squeeze in a lunch, and go Downtown and just take a stroll?"

"I'd like that," Marissa smiled, as she wrapped her arms around his waist, pulling him closer to her, "It sounds absolutely perfect," she nibbled on his lip for a second, before pulling away, "And then, while we're on our stroll, we can kind of look around for my must-needed job?" Marissa hinted gently.

"If that's what you want to do, then sure," Ryan replied, "So you want a few minutes to get ready, and I'll pick you up in an hour?"

"Sure, sounds great," Marissa smiled again, "So I'll see you in an hour," she said, pressing her lips against his, for a sweet, goodbye kiss. Ryan disappeared out the front door, allowing Marissa to float up the stairs, with a silly grin.

Marissa's insides were churning- but it was a good kind of churning, one that she didn't want to go away. She felt as though she were back in high school, scoring on her crush- but she knew what she was feeling was much more than that. It wasn't just infatuation of any sort, but it was a kind of feeling- more of a longing- to be with that other person, that other halve. That other halve was Ryan.

As she dragged her luggage upstairs, she walked into the room Summer had described to her earlier. It was a cozy, little room with the colour beige splashed onto the walls, and furniture of a honey-pine. It had plenty of storage, and a mirror that hugged an entire wall. Marissa smiled at her reflection. She observed herself for a moment- for once, she could truly _see _the happiness simply sprouting out of her. She walked over to the window, to look at the beautiful view of the garden, that again, Summer described so vividly. It was absolutely stunning.

Realizing she only had an hour to make herself absolutely irresistible for Ryan, she swung her suitcase open, searching for that adorable, little white dress she'd bought only weeks earlier. It was perfect- it would hug her every precious curve, the minute she put it on.

In spite of the fact that Marissa was ideally aware that Summer was probably busy somewhere in the whereabouts of her home, she didn't fret to call her for some severe fashion advice. She waited a moment, and after hearing no reply, she called again, only to receive a frustrated _I'm coming, I'm coming _as Summer waddled up the stairs.

Summer welcomed herself into the room, as she entered it. All it took was one look at that dress, and she was already prodding at it, and admiring it, "Marissa Cooper, this is the most gorgeous thing I've ever seen," Summer grinned excitedly, "Oh, when Ryan sees you in this," she burst out into a series of giggles, and suggestive grins.

Marissa smiled subtly, "Sum, I just need some advice- what do I put on with this dress? I mean, I don't want to overdress, or underdress,"

Summer immediately saw her dilemma. It was as though she connected with it for that moment, "Okay, I totally understand your problem. I say, wear the dress with some white flats- _no, no, no. _How about an off-pink headband, and some off-pink flats? Are you going for a super-fancy look, or a casual—fancy?" Summer questioned. There was no stopping this petite Brunette now.

Marissa could barely hide her rampant exhilaration and excitement. Somehow, every particular detail of the evening, seemed so terribly important to her, "Well, I was thinking casual-fancy, but Sum! Where am I going to pick out an off-pink headband and flats? That kind of planning is good for a week prior to the date, but I've got _an hour,_"

"Oh, oh good point. Alright, I say go with the white flats then," Summer smiled. It was now time for Summer's little mothering aspect of the afternoon, "Oh, Coop! Seth and I are so happy that things are finally _clicking _between you two. You guys have been through so much, honestly, we couldn't be happier if we _tried. _You're going to look so stunning out there with Ryan. I'm sure there are many that would envy the two of you, and the chemistry you both have," Summer smiled, shuffling over to Marissa to give her a hug, "You guys are so great together,"

Marissa grinned, "Thanks, Sum," she chuckled gently.

"Oh, and I wouldn't be surprised if Ryan _mhmm'd _you tonight," Marissa very well understood what Summer was hinting at.

Marissa simply laughed, "Oh no, Sum. It won't work that way. It's been what, a few days since we've seen each other again? I want to talk, and get to know him, and honestly just _be _with him before I hop into bed," Marissa replied rather maturely.

"Then it'll definitely be a flipping mission for Ryan to keep off of you, Coop- especially when you're going to look like _that,_" Summer teased again.

Marissa smiled, "Back to the getting ready, before we talking about the getting it _on_," Marissa smiled.

"Mmkay," Summer's eyes were glittering, as she continuously grinned, "I think you should go for a simple make-up- like, eyeliner, mascara, and then a hint of tan eye shadow. Good idea?" Marissa nodded, "As for the hair, leave it down. It kind of adds to the mysterious, casual-fancy look," Summer sighed, "And I think you're just about set," she said, glancing at her watch, "So you now have thirty five minutes to get it all done,"

Marissa glanced at Summer frantically, "Then I better get started,"

"And I better get going," Summer smiled, as she started to head towards the door, "Listen, Coop. I want _all _the details at the end of the evening, _mhmm _or no _mhmm, _got that?" Summer smiled, as she disappeared out the door, barely waiting for Marissa's reply. Marissa chuckled, eyeing herself in the mirror.

She quickly slid the dress on, and started to work with her make-up. Within a matter of time, Marissa was done getting ready. She slipped on her white flats, as she headed downstairs. Before she left the room, she gave herself a final glance, as she smiled at her reflection. This afternoon was going to be splendid!

When Marissa walked down the stairs, Summer was already waiting at the bottom of them, with a wide smile. Summer bit her lip excitedly, "You look _fantastic,_" Summer squealed.

"Thanks," Marissa said, as she reached the last step, "God, should I be _this _nervous?" Marissa whimpered, as she looked over at her companion, searching her face for even more advice.

"Of course not, Coop!" Summer said, "Listen, this is a big moment- it's like your first date all over again," Summer smiled reassuringly, "You've been with him before though, so there's nothing to worry. It's not like if you do something wrong, he'll hate you. This guy _loves _you, Coop- he's waited for you all these years, hasn't he?"

"Well, not exactly," Marissa frowned, "What about Hayley?"

"What _about _Hayley? What about Derek? I don't think they were _serious _relationships, I think they were the fillers for that emptiness you two had, and don't you deny it. You can't seriously say you loved Derek, hm?" Once Marissa shook her head, Summer continued with the pep talk, "Well then there you go! Ryan can't say he loved Hayley either. It just looked attractive to say, _Oh yes, I'm with someone._" Marissa laughed, "Am I right? Yeah, I am. So Coop, if you tell me you're nervous one more time, I'm going to have to hit you, Hun."

"_Okay, _I'm no longer nervous," Marissa said, taking a deep breath. That was a lie. She was literally exploding inside, but she couldn't admit that.

"Good, good," Summer said gaily, "Well he's going to be here soon, so I might as well disappear and let you enjoy your moment," Summer grinned a wide, proud grin, "I'm so happy for you two," she said again. As Summer had expected, the door bell echoed throughout the house, "Good luck!" Summer said quickly, as she went over to the kitchen, where she was unseen.

Marissa, having been left all alone from now on, felt like a child taking its first steps. She was quite weak on her feet, but somehow, managed to reach the door. Surely enough, it was Ryan Atwood who stood at the front door. He looked incredible- he had black dress pants and a white, collared shirt. His hair was all neat, and his scent wafted through the air. Marissa smiled at his sight, "Are you ready?" Ryan said, taking her hand. Marissa nodded, almost unable to speak. Before they had left the house, Ryan turned to Marissa, and mustered the most genuine expression before he spoke, "You look beautiful, Marissa," he said, slipping his hand into hers, as he led her to his car.

"You too, you know, you look great," Marissa babbled, and then laughed, "I don't know why I'm so nervous, Ryan," Marissa chuckled, once they seated themselves in their car, "But I really am, just so you know," she added.

"You think I'm not?" Ryan laughed, "I want this afternoon and evening to be absolutely perfect," Ryan said, turning on the engine to the car, "Do you want a little synopsis today?" Marissa shrugged, and nodded, "Well, I think we'll wait with the _boat _until a little later. First, we'll go grab a lunch at some fancy restaurant- just because you got all dressed up for it, anyway," Ryan grinned.

"Hey, so did _you,_" Marissa giggled.

"Yeah, well I knew _you _would," Ryan joked, "After our late lunch, we can take a walk to this one store I have in mind, after which we can take an even longer walk on the beach where we'll eventually get to the port- and from then on, it's absolute secrecy," Ryan smiled this adorable, yet mysterious smile. Marissa pressed her lips together excitedly.

"Well I definitely can't wait," Marissa smiled excitedly, as they started to drive off. Her brain was rattling, as she tried to figure out the latter plan. Ryan had planned out the day so spectacularly, and she was eager to find out what he had in store for her, "So, what's changed in the last hour?" Marissa chuckled, trying to stir up the conversation.

"Absolutely nothing has changed," Ryan smiled, as he turned over to her. After a short while of conversation, and driving along, Ryan parked in front of a very fancy, and very expensive-looking restaurant. One glance at the gorgeous exterior, made Marissa quiver. She dearly hoped it wasn't one of those restaurants, with a million forks and knives on either end of the plate, with snoopy waiters just waiting to catch you doing something silly. She was never too great at these extremely fancy things. Ryan caught her gaze, and she immediately plastered on a smile. She didn't want him to get the wrong idea- she was excited, just a little intimidated.

They walked into the restaurant, and for a moment, their hands grazed against each other. Before thinking about it, Ryan took Marissa's hand in his own, walking into the classy central side-by-side.

Marissa studied the restaurant, with the cream-coloured booths, and the warm, burgundy carpeting. Chandeliers littered the ceiling, illuminating the rather comfortable atmosphere. There weren't many people around this restaurant, but the one's that _were _here, were dressed in stunning, designer attire.

Ryan whispered something to the waiter, after which the waiter led them to a very secluded, and wonderful spot, on the second floor. After climbing a flight of stairs, Marissa remarked an even more stunning place, encircled with nothing but windows, that let the light of the outside spill through. Marissa was taken aback by the beauty of this place.

The waiter ushered them to their seats, handing them two separate menus. Firstly, Ryan ordered the most expensive bottle of wine that was enlisted in the menu. Marissa gulped, as she leafed through the several pages, shocked by the horrendous prices of every meal. She glanced at Ryan, catching his gaze, "I hope you're hungry," Ryan said with a grin, "I think the _Chicken Crepe Riviera _sounds delicious," he remarked, as he skimmed through the description.

"Really? I think I'll just go for the _Niςoise Salade- _it sounds quite tasty," _And _it looked quite affordable. Marissa looked at the front of the menu, with the words _Les Meridiens _embossed into it, with gold letters. As utter silence encompassed the two, Marissa hurriedly racked her brain to figure out something to say.

"So have you-"

"I've heard-"

Both Ryan and Marissa spoke at once, after which they started to chuckle lightly, "I'm sorry, you go," Marissa said quietly, flashing him a tremendous smile.

"Well, I've heard- actually, _seen _for myself- how big a part modeling plays in your life. Haven't you thought of going back to that?" Ryan asked carefully.

"I gave it _a lot _of thought," Marissa admitted, "But I don't think that I want to get back into that again, I don't know, unless something irrefutable comes my way," Marissa liked how intelligent she smarted. Maybe it was the fresh aroma of the flowers, in this immaculate surrounding, or the light that was pouring in through those windows that spread against the walls.

"Weren't there certain parts of it you loves though? Obviously, right? Unless you wouldn't be doing it for so long?" Ryan said.

"Of course," Marissa nodded, "But there was so much pressure, so much competition- I just don't think I want my life to be _just _that, you know?"

"Yeah, I understand," Ryan said, being interrupted by the waiter shortly afterwards.

"I'm very sorry, but, are you just about done choosing your meals?" he said, setting the wine bottle in the middle of the table.

Ryan nodded, "One _Niςoise Salad," _he searched Marissa's face for her final agreement, and when she nodded he continued, "and one _Chicken Crepe Riviera, _please," Ryan said, handing the two menus over to him. The waiter disappears kindly, leaving the two of them to talk again.

"So how about you?" Marissa started, intrigue powdering her voice, "What do you do in your job? Brag all you want," Marissa chuckled, "If you can afford _this _place, then I'm quite sure you're doing well,"

Ryan laughed, "Well, I'm the owner of a construction company, and although it's nothing _too _fancy, it has its own rewards in the end," Ryan smiled at her again, a smile that made her feel incredibly vulnerable, and naked. She didn't dare look away though. Something about his gaze was so scrumptious, and moving. She hadn't really had much time to really _speak _to him lately. Everything was moving so quickly, she barely had a moment to simply _breathe. _Ryan unwillingly broke the silence, unable to keep what he was about to say for himself, "I can't believe I finally have you all to myself," he said, both of them in an entranced daze. Marissa's face flushed, her cheeks turning a rosy shade of pink. Still, she couldn't withdraw her gaze. She cracked a smile, a warm, genuine smile, as raw as ever.

The afternoon seemed to roll on by, as they spent it laughing gaily, and recalling old memories- not to mention, eating to their hearts' desire. The food was magnificent- perfectly spiced, perfectly cooked. Marissa had forgotten how much Ryan really did make her laugh, and it only made her ache more. She barely believed how long it took her to realize the she couldn't live without him. Finally, her soul was happy, fulfilled, and that emptiness in her heart sealed with that one thing she was missing. Sheer bliss dwelled around them, as the afternoon wasted away. Once they got up, ready to leave the gentle music in the background, and the overly comfortable seats, only then did they realize how much time had actually gone by.

Marissa remembered what Ryan had planned after the meal- a visit to a very special store, apparently. When he took her to a jewelry store, Marissa's stomach flopped. Her face probably showed the very outcome of her churning stomach, as she glanced at Ryan's blank face every once in a while. She willed to know what exactly was going on- why exactly she was brought to a store with nothing but jewels, and rings, and gorgeous stones. Thoughts gnawed at her mind, as she contemplated all the possibilities in the few moments that it took for them to walk from the car, to the store. What if _that _was what he had in mind? What if he was going to, _propose? _Marissa wasn't ready for something like that, _at all! _Her stomach was churning, her mind was collapsing.

But then Ryan handed her a box, after talking to one of the assistants.

It was a simple, white, box. It was long, and Marissa's heart calmed down. This box couldn't possibly hold _a ring. _With still, shaky fingers, she slid the top of it open, only to find the most brilliant, diamond necklace laying inside of it. Marissa shot him a glance, unaware of what to say, or do next. It was beautiful. Breathtaking. This must have cost him a fortune. Her stomach was churning now, more than before. She didn't know what to say. She simply stared at him, her face contorted into what seemed like a shocked, and wordless expression. From her already slightly parted lips, she hung herself around his shoulders, embracing him in the most tight, and thankful of hugs, "How could you do something like this!" she said, her voice muffled into his shoulder, her arms wrapped tightly around his neck, "_Why _would you do something like this! It's _beautiful, _Ryan!" Marissa said, only tightening her grip, before letting go. She still couldn't believe it. How could she? In her palm, she held the most lovely gift she had ever received- from _anyone. _Words were failing her- she didn't know what else to say.

By the look on Ryan's face, she needn't say anything else. He was satisfied enough by her reaction. He pocketed his hands shyly, as he watched her study the gift further. Marissa felt about a million frissons of sheer delight, as she glanced from the necklace, to Ryan, in equal astonishment.

Marissa face suddenly warped into a frown, as she looked back up at Ryan, "Ryan, I can't take this," she whimpered, standing stiffly in front of him.

"And why not?" Ryan's face was amused, rather than afraid.

"Because y-you spent a fortune on this. How can I accept this?" Marissa demanded to know, unable to glance at the beautiful piece of jewelry she held.

"Easily," Ryan smirked, "You can just be with me,"

Marissa's face enlightened, as she attacked him again, with yet another hug, "You didn't have to do this,"

"You're right," he replied, "But I wanted to,"


	14. Chapter 14

_I am terribly, terribly sorry for the lack of updates. Things are constantly in the way, and I can't sit myself down to write a chapter. I hope you like it nevertheless. I will try to update more often, but **please **let me know what you think, about this one. Comment, critisize, do whatever you need to. I do apologize again. Enjoy!!!!_

* * *

Chapter Fourteen

Marissa fingered the necklace, as she eyed Ryan in the midst of the luminous candlelight. A city of vibrant lights, and nightlife could be seen from the boat's terrace, from which they dined. Marissa was taken aback the minute they boarded the beautiful yacht, constantly wondering how on Earth Ryan could organize all of this. As Ryan watched her, he seemed to be deep in thought. Perhaps he was reflecting on all the years he had lost, or pondering the fact that although such time apart, absolutely nothing between them had changed. Both were engaging in a peaceful, and heartfelt conversation. Regardless of the serene atmosphere, and immaculate evening, it was getting late.

The stars glimmered in the sky, the moonlight reflecting off of Marissa's gorgeous necklace. Once a second of silence overcame them, Ryan smiled, "M'rissa," he said gently, trying hard to look her straight in the eyes, "I was wondering," he said quietly, "I just wanted to ask- would you want to stay the night here?" he finally managed to say it. Although it was possible to return back on shore, he would much rather be with this beautiful girl for the rest of the beautiful night.

He'd rented this giant yacht out for the two of them. They shared it with no one, but the captain of the boat, who was secluded in his own booth, directing the boat around the harbour. Marissa gasped- she wasn't expecting this at all. But what did this mean? Did staying the night mean Ryan wanted to er, … Or did it mean something completely innocent? Marissa looked away. Ryan could see that she was a little troubled.

"If you don't want to-" Ryan started, before getting interrupted by Marissa.

"No, no, I _do- _it's just I don't know what you _expect _of me," Marissa said honestly, taking a sip of her wine. She tried hard to envision the rest of the evening, trying harder to predict what Ryan had in mind.

"Expect of you? I don't expect anything- whatever happens, happens," he said gently, clasping his hand over hers, "Listen, Marissa. If this is about, well, _that, _then I don't want to hear it. It's not why I brought you out here tonight. It's because I just, _love _you, that's _all,_" Ryan said, attempting to comfort her.

"I know," she breathed, her face flushed- how could she have possibly told him about her apprehensions? Of course Ryan didn't want that. She could have expected it from creeps like _Derek- _but Ryan was nothing _like _him.

"Marissa, if you don't want to, I'm okay with that. We can take the boat back, take a taxi to Sum's place. I mean, whatever you want is perfect," Ryan said.

"No Ryan," Marissa said, "I want to stay," Marissa said after a moment, giving a gentle smile, "And I want to just- let things be," she smiled. Marissa looked into his genuine eyes, seeing a glint of sheer happiness in Ryan's eye.

After a moment of pleasurable silence, Ryan grinned at her, "Wanna dance?" he asked, starting to get up out of his seat.

"Without music?" Marissa chuckled, but immediately, she knew it wasn't necessary. Ryan took her hand, leading her to a small opening of the terrace, as he pulled her close. His arms held her waist comfortably- soon afterwards, she laced her arms around his neck. Ever so slowly, they started to rock to the beat of the wind, to the beat of the crashing waves.

"Did I tell you?" Ryan murmured into her ear, "You look absolutely, drop-dead stunning." He smiled, her head nestled against his shoulder.

Marissa let out a tiny giggle, "_Yes, _about a million times already," she said with a smile. She smelt the fresh scent of cologne, as her head lay against his shoulder peacefully. It all felt so soothing, so incredibly perfect.

"Well," he paused, feeling a little ridiculous, "It's because you _do,_" he said, "You do look unbelievably beautiful," he said, holding her a little closer. It might have been because he simply never wanted to loose her again. Or perhaps, he just wanted to absorb the moment longer, in its entirety. Regardless, it felt _good _to practically _feel _her heartbeat against his chest, her breaths against his neck, "Marissa, I never want to loose you again," he whispered gently.

Marissa smiled warmly, "Me neither," she whispered in that same, quiet tone. She savoured the moment with all her heart, as she continued to dance with the sandy-haired boy. Soon after, Ryan started to hum a song, so strangely familiar- and immediately the memory whisked her mind. Her heart nearly melted as she listened to the few distinct notes.

"_I want to be," _Ryan muttered slowly, "_forever young,_" he added later, seeing Marissa's glistening eyes staring back at him, with a smile. He continued to hum for quite some time, and when he stopped, Marissa looked up at him again.

"I can't believe all this," she whispered quietly, a look of surprise and genuine gratitude on her precious face, "I can't believe _you,_" she let out a tiny giggle, "You're amazing, Ryan," she said quietly, as she grazed his cheek with her palm, moments after meeting her lips with his. Ryan pulled her towards him, as tightly as he could, holding her fragile body in his arms.

"Am I really that amazing?" Ryan said, stopping for a moment.

Marissa chuckled, giving him the most heartfelt of kisses, "Of course you are,"

Ryan seemed to pull away- his face tensioned. Marissa stared at him, wondering what the sudden strain was about. She muttered a hushed, _is everything alright, _only to receive a tiny nod in return. He started to fidget in his pocket for a moment, surrendering a glimpse of a small, velvet box. Marissa looked up at him uneasily, seeing that his face started to brighten up excitedly. He fingered the box for a moment, absolute silence clouding the air. Marissa gaped at him, and the box, barely breathing. He looked up at her, relinquishing a single grin, "Well, since I'm _that _amazing…" he opened a box, a single flash of the diamond betraying the underlying idea, "Marissa, will you-"

Marissa pressed her index finger against his lip, hushing him for a moment. She could barely breathe, let alone answer such a life changing question. She covered her own mouth with her palm, feeling that if she didn't, all her dinner would sweep over the terrace. Finally able to speak, she whispered, "But Ryan, this is so soon," she pressed her lips together, taking a deep, sobering breath.

"I know it's soon, Marissa," he said, his voice hopeful, and excited, and everything else, "But it's how I feel- I can't live another moment without you. I can't live in the uncertainty that in a second, you can be with somebody else."

"What uncertainty?" Marissa whimpered, shrugging her shoulders slightly, "I'm right here, Ryan- I always will be," she said, her breaths short and detached.

"I know," he said shyly, looking away for a moment, "But I just want everyone to see it- I want to show the world that you're _mine, _Marissa Cooper." Marissa couldn't help but smile. She hoped that by smiling it would relieve the abominable churning of her stomach, the breathlessness of her lungs. The smile that spread across her face, only made her consider the situation further. "Marissa, say something," She simply stared at him, studying every crease of his face with such care. She didn't know what to say, "I know it's soon, I know it's scary," he whispered quietly, "But how scary could it be? I found you … You found me …" he said gulping, a genuine fear residing in the pit of his stomach. What if she said no?

"I really don't know what to say," she said quietly, tossing the possibilities in her head.

"You don't have to say anything but-" Ryan was again interrupted, by the stunning brunette.

"Yes,"

Ryan looked at her in awe, a grin creeping onto his lips, "You _really _need to stop interrupting me, Marissa," he chuckled finally, before embracing her with all his might, pressing his lips against hers.

Once they both pulled away breathlessly, Marissa smiled at him- a smile, which portrayed so much radiance, and happiness, "Well _excuse me, _Ryan, but it's Mrs. Marissa Atwood, from now on, in case you didn't notice." She said, giving him a quick peck on the lips, as she smiled.

Ryan gazed at her again, "You make me so happy," he said, entangling their fingertips together.

"You make me happier," Marissa whispered, wrapping her arms around his neck, pulling him into a hug. They simply stood there, holding each other underneath the late night sky, listening to each other's relaxed breaths. Nothing else existed. For that moment, nothing else _needed _to exist.


End file.
